Chapter 24: Enlightenment

ILLUMINATION

2012-02-09T10:43:00.001-08:00

"illuminati" by EebsBerenstein. Photo by Hisham Eid. Texture created by William Morris pattern.

POWER OF THE MIND

2012-02-08T08:08:00.000-08:00

Changing my mentality and being proactive about a positive change. I'm going to experiment with the powers of positive reinforcement and envisioning the future (short, medium and long term) that I want for myself. Taking a few moments several times throughout the day to remind myself of my value as a creator. Also, reminding myself of where I want to be in the next year and therefore, lighting the fire for the actions I must take in order to get to that point.

MANIFESTING THROUGH ENVISIONING AND ACTING ON/TOWARDS GOALS.

For those of you who need a little kick, as I often do:

A fantastic collection of manifestos for the creative in all of us. Btw, if you do not follow this blog, you absolutely should! (Pics of journal were borrowed from this page)

http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2011/04/08/five-manifestos-for-life/

A great blog of inspirational design. Dedicated young designer who did one design a day (the end goal being simply creation) for a year.

http://alldaysgoby.tumblr.com/

Follow me on twitter! I like to share creative stuff! @EebsBerenstein

Collection of weird, interesting, stimulating, visually appealing:

http://www.laughingsquid.com

Hedonistic Sustainibility -- Europe is at the forefront of design, architecture, living-well... optimal living, you could say! Check out this great TED Talks by inspiring and innovative architect/visionary Bjarke Ingels: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ogXT_CI7KRU

Janurary 2012 Career Mantras from EB and MP

2012-01-30T09:56:00.000-08:00

In chronological order:

EB - "Having faith in my instincts and passions will lead me to success and fulfillment!"

MP - "Align yourself for the next step by pursuing your interests and informing yourself about those fields of interest -- Who are the big players? What are the trends? How do you fit in? -- With this prep, you will be ready when an opportunity presents itself - and it will, just be patient."

EB - "I will not allow myself to be bogged down by an under-stimulating environment! I will make time for my interests and nurture my passions!"

MP - "Do not be undervalued or taken advantage of! You are a flower, don't be bulldozed."

EB - "Living for my passions, even if my next step is not directly aimed at my end goal, will be right for me and right for my path."

MP - "Focus-Focus-Focus on the big picture and aim yourself at your goals. If you want to be a hippy for the summer, only do it if you know it is aimed at your long-term goals."

EB - "Don't get overwhelmed, things will fall into place as long as I am creating, learning and pushing my boundaries. Think clearly and think for myself!"

MP - "THINK BIG-DREAM IN COLOUR-IN 3D AND IN MOVEMENT-STRIVE TO ALWAYS BECOME BETTER IN ALL ASPECTS OF YOUR LIFE - BE HAPPY IN APPRECIATING LITTLE DETAILS - IT IS IN THE DETAILS OF THE DETAILS THAT YOU MAKE THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SUCCESS AND FAILURE IN YOUR LIFE! IT IS CALLED BEING "AWAKE & AWARE" - IT LEADS YOU TO ATTITUDE AND ACTION!"

Hannes Beer: http://alldaysgoby.tumblr.com/

Big thoughts to have only 1 month into the year... but sometimes tough love is what's needed.

This transition has been trying for me - from student to worker - attempting to figure out what's right for ME. I won't lie, I've been stressing. It's hard enough that my thoughts are all over the place and I feel that every decision I make will either make or break me. But, on top of my own insecurities and indecisiveness, my mentor is putting pressure on me to be the "best" me I can be. It's revealing, overwhelming, frightening and freeing to have someone hold a mirror up to you and make you consider who you truly want to be. I'm coming out of the other side of all of this pressure - more aware and realistic. The tough part is realizing the hard work that needs to go into becoming a big player in any field. And, ya, my ultimate goal is definitely that!

So, next step?

- Patience

- LESS AGONIZING

- Active research

- Me time

- Art time

- More stuff like Hannes Beer is doing: http://alldaysgoby.tumblr.com/

Words to help me visualize my yearly goals -- steps towards the future!!:

- DEEP-UNIQUE-PERSONALIZED-DESIGN

- SEEK OUT INSPIRATION

- LESS EATING OUT

- SAN FRANCISCO

- SUN YEAR ROUND

- $10,000

- TRAVEL

- ART DIRECTOR

- GRAND CANYON

- JAN 2013

A bumpy, slow start to 2012... & my necessary resolutions

2012-01-12T13:08:00.000-08:00

(The fact that I'm posting this 12 days into the new year just shows how detached I am from my motivation and personal creation.)

So.... I've been out for a minute. Several minutes, infact. Getting lost in the numbingness of the job and searching (lacklusterly) for who are am as a creator in the midst of all of this.

A new year but this one feels... different. For those of you who are still in school, soak it up. I'm jealous of you. The pending semester always laid out the beginning of the new year so clearly - your path is right there in front of you. All you have to do is keep going about your student-life day-to-day. Studying, learning, expanding the mind in the process. You are preparing yourself for the next step and it's virtually effortless; the professor tells you what to do and you do it and VOILA, you have learned something new, and in the process, you have shed a layer and gotten closer to who you will become.

I don't know. I'm just missing school. Feeling stagnant for the first time since I took a semester off between CEGEP and university.

Who am I as a designer and creative person when all my work is produced for others? It's tough to stay in touch with yourself. You loose track of time, loose track of the passion that you had during school and before you know it, you haven't created anything for the fun of it in months.

God, listen to me, I sound like I've been in this business for years. During the holiday vacay I was honest with myself and attempted to reconnect with my seemingly lost conviction. Having faith in your gut and stepping out of something comfortable and into something new has become difficult for me - it never used to be. Hence my need to reconnect with my self-confidence. Maybe it's an attitude change that I need, maybe it's a change of space.

But I am where I am and I want to feel balanced and fulfilled even though I not entirely satisfied with my present employment; it is the perfect season for a kick in the ass. The resolution season.

I was inspired by my friend, Phil Ha. Witty blogger, sharer of cultural-musical-interesting-fashion&faux-pas tidbits. He attempted to challenge himself with 10 attainable resolutions rather than the regular "go to the gym" b.s.

I'm jumping on the bandwagon. 10 realistic resolutions to center me, keep me creative and allow me to evolve spiritually.... Or something along those lines.

1 - Trust my instincts and act on them:

Sidenote to this one: Don't feel ashamed or guilty for being honest when it comes to my career and future path. Open my eyes, speak what I see when necessary and proudly display my emotions and thoughts on my face (i.e. cover pic)

2 - More Yoga:

Otherwise I'll be hunched over permanently by the end of 2012. And also, to give my mind a few moments of peace during the week.

3 - Live more organically:

Food, karma, give/take with the earth, have plants/possible garden, follow the weather, dress for the seasons, cultivate the good and avoid the aggressive, more local support

4 - Do more drawing for leisure

5 - Pass on my positives to others:

Passing on my good moods, absorbing the benefits of t.a.ing and passing on my knowledge, offering drawing classes to children... holding the door for others, and so on.

6 - Earlier rising

7 - More baking bread:

With my whole self involved. Leaving the thoughts behind and kneading with love and energy.

8 - Actively budget and budget the loans away

9 - One big trip

This song makes me want to visit many places at once:

10 - No electronic devices in bed

And as with every other year, so it doesn't need to be numbered, more tea and more quebec cheeses.

And hopefully, more blogging.... :)

Times-a-flyin', Dreamlands float by, Nightmares don't knock me down but they sure do get my heart-beating faster.

2011-09-19T14:56:00.000-07:00

Later in my life, when wiser and seasoned, I'll write a country song about the sorrows and joys of periods of change. I'm such a newb to it all right now; overreacting at the smallest upset! Change is tough, guys and gals! My Grandma agreed rather knowingly when I mentioned how I was feeling. "Transition is difficult, Dear", she said, faint remains of her British accent audible in certain words. She came to Canada on a ship in her mid-Twenties with an infant and a bun in the oven, leaving her family and friends to start a new life; she knows about periods of transition.

As you may know, my performance anxiety has been getting to me. Vivid nightmares in which I am forced to create or a big, bad man will fly down at me and bite off my legs...

It's only been a few weeks since my last contemplative post but much has changed since then, I feel. I'm seeing more clearly. And frankly, I'm happy that I had that little down to put me in my place! I'm young - the downs and confusion and ego-bursting moments are necessary in order to show me the way to the next level, my next peak.

I'm settling into my job, settling into the level of creation, settling into my first fall since I was four years old that I am not in school. My gosh, I do yearn for more schooling. I had a few days of feeling as though since I am done school, the learning is complete and this is the level of design that I will be at for the rest of my life. Hahah, so ridiculous. I've snapped out of it. Now, I'm just trying to go with the flow. It's a joy to have some free time to focus on my development - I just need to get used to the happiness of it all.

For a little while there, I felt as though I wasn't creating anything interesting. It all seemed so blah to me. After having brainstormed some ideas with my bosses and close friends, I realize there's something interesting in the majority of my ideas. I gotta have faith! It's all coming together, I feel myself relaxing into it.

So, what's next?

Well... I'm conceptualizing and designing a promotional journal for Surface Jalouse. The release of the book will coincide with a huge reopening of the Surface Boutique! I have to design displays for the interior of the boutique (vinyls, showcase boxes, pieces of furniture) and a line of t-shirts. We're also going to develop the winter season window installations for the Boutique and for several clothing stores. And all this for only a couple of months from now. Wow - seems I'm a little out of my league with all this stuff! Lots of inspiration though... so things will roll :)!

Here's some inspiration for you now:

A great, long episode of The Strombo Show on CBC Radio:
http://www.cbc.ca/video/#/Radio/1447825254/ID=2127808266

The first in a series of short films called Made by Hand, promoting hand-made, local artisans:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DfuGWT8alT4

I want to start embroidering on photos:

Vibrant artwork by an artist whose name I can't fully remember... Francis something. Sorry artist! Who didn't love Darjeeling Limited?! Watch for gorgeous patterns in every scene!

Love this kind of symmetrical illustration, using a strong white space and simple, unhesitating, lines. Mingo Lamberti

Great new tune to enjoy:

Feist - How come you never go there?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h65YIvjIV7E

And I'll leave you with something to consider... I've been mulling it over for a while now. Why not be a part of your community by making it more beautiful? Positive vandalism, if you will. It takes little effort and goes such a long way in brightening your environment and neighbours' lives. And in a city like Montreal - pot-hole filled and such - who wouldn't love a little ironic, colourful addition to their surroundings?

Til next time everyone! Enjoy the change, layers of clothing and fall colours...

Wall Mural-ing

2011-09-01T13:38:00.000-07:00

Unfortunately, I haven't got any higher quality photos of my work just yet, but here are a few shots from a wall mural I did for a resto bar in Quebec City called Jack Saloon!

As Irene pours down.

2011-08-28T13:42:00.000-07:00

A self-indulgent piece to clear my thoughts and sulk on a rainy day. Apologies for the run-ons and at times, difficult to follow trains of thought. I'm a little all-over the place today but sometimes you just gotta get it out.

I've had this post in my mind for a few weeks now, since I completed my Graphic Design diploma, actually. The fear of the "real world" has quickly set in, especially without any time off to collect my thoughts after a whirlwind ending. (I started working full-time the Monday after my Friday evening graduation). Negative, defeatist feelings have been rolling through me and developing into more concrete thoughts - and some, developing into realities. Excuse my tangents as I feel there will be a few throughout this entry -- rainy days just kind of do this to me. "The winds of change are blowing through, the rain washing the slate clean. My accomplishments behind me, new ones must take their place". Ya, those sorts of daunting, melodramatic lines are common for me on rainy days.

I've been on a major high. The highest high of my blossoming artistic career. I feel pretentious calling myself an artist but I'm not solely a graphic designer, so I'll use the word and take the title. With the title, comes the realization that as an artist my creations are not solely for personal pleasure and release, they are for the bread and butter, the dollars, the advancements. I have always been faced with the desire, nay, need, to be creative but never like this. Never as a career, never to make the rent. These days, the pressure to create does not solely come from my internal monologue; I now feel I must appease others' who patiently await my next creation - my Facebook friends, family, teachers, and as the added kicker, my employers. Important people around me expect greatness from me. I expect greatness from myself. So, what's the next move? How can I keep up the success?

Strange feelings for me since I began working full-time: being directed, producing for the sake of money and creating for the benefit of others. I have to acknowledge however, that it is a new feeling. Things will fall into place and the pressure won't be as numbing and intimidating - I will give myself time and attempt to relax into my current position. But for now, I'll just panic and ponder a little...

As a "professional" artist, my employment could push me in one of two directions; I could sink or swim. Continued success: breast-stroking onwards into the unknown, skill-testing tides or, the worst possible outcome, artistic apathy: soaking in murky, brown, semi-creative/semi-productive waters that hint at my past successes. It's the beginning of this stage of my life and I'm allowing myself to get into the darkness and unfamiliarity of it all, so yes, I am afraid. Afraid that creating for others who lack inspiration & are often tacky, will drag me down into an innovation-less life zone, without drive or vision of places I want to be and the person I can become. I don't want to be a designer at the median of creativity - reproducing what's already been done for the sake of rapid output or simply to finish the boring job off and put me out of my misery. Frankly, I'm afraid I will loose my motivation. I'm afraid I will spend crucial career development years working for the wrong company or working for the wrong end goal. How can I know that I am where I should be? How can I know I'm taking the steps I'm supposed to take so that my bank of ideas never runs dry? How can I stay at the forefront of my design abilities? I don't want to become a lackluster designer/artist who repeats themselves.

I want to feel the way I have felt this past year, for the rest of my days. I want to ooze inspiration for myself and those around me. I'm realizing now that this takes practice and effort. When you're a student, the projects are based around developing your brainstorming and conceptualization - the inspiration comes easily. You are constantly surrounded by curious people who have yet to be jaded by the underwhelming projects that lay ahead. I need to be involved in my growth because my employment and my work projects cannot be the heart of it, they can only be a part of it - on the sidelines.

To only way for me to keep up that drive is to constantly look for new, encourage myself to research, brainstorm deeply instead of settling on the first idea. I need to remain at the heart of the action: living in metropolis cities, going to vernissages, museums, listening to new music, following interesting blogs, being attuned to European artistic developments, having arts and crafts days with creative friends. Luckily for me, I have all those things readily available to me... and I have a deep want to move forward.

After all this fretting, having written out this worrisome post has done me some good. For the sake of relaxation and perspective, I think it would wise to look at the big picture. I guess storms just do strange things to the designer in me or oops, should I say artist?! Professional artist? Creator?? Won't worry about that just yet.

I'm busy,... so so busy!

2011-08-06T11:56:00.000-07:00

Hi!
I'm living the dream right now world wide web! This job at Surface Jalouse is opening so many doors and allowing me to create some crazy stuff. (Ie. neons lights and mirrors inspired by the artist Zilon for the Festival Design & Mode in Montreal---- ummmm, is this real?! Am I dreaming?)

I'm also finishing up my final projects and still working as a creative assistant to a marketing professor at the John Molson School of Business. I honestly don't know how I'm finding the time! But I'm loving it.

Here's a peek at my magazine:

Front and Back cover...

Spread from the article "Tripping on Fireworks" -- Photo cred to Hisham Eid

Illustrated spread "HIGHWAISTED Accesories in Space"

Article on art in abandoned Mtl buildings

Portfolio coming together as I get a job!!!

2011-07-06T13:38:00.000-07:00

YAAAA! I was just hired by Surface Jalouse as their new designer. An awesome design company focused on custom interiors (furniture, wall fixings, murals, window displays). It's an incredible opportunity and such a cool place. I'm soooo excited to start. I'll be doing 1 day a week until I finish school in August!

In the mean time, I have to get my excitement under control and focus on the now --- a never ending pile of projects.

Here's a look at my portfolio cover:

Business cards -- Testing testing!

2011-06-20T11:14:00.000-07:00

Working on new business cards. What do you think?
Do the words I've chosen to describe myself suit me?

A Travel Notebook...

2011-06-15T12:44:00.000-07:00

For those who want to see a different side of themselves, their environment and the people around them while they travel: A travel notebook based on 20 challenges that include taking a photo with a disposable camera during the challenge.

This project has been massive and taken up lots of time and energy but I'm so so happy with the results. I feel very attached to this project since I took all the pictures and drew everything in the journal. Going to get it all printed later today.

Here is my moodboard and initial inspiration:

Here are some shots from the notebook layout:
(PLEASE ingore the text/picture boxes that mysteriously showed up in the screen shots of it all... bummer but I'm too busy to re-screenshot everyhing)

The notebook comes with a disposable camera, picture corners (sticky corners that you slip pics into) and 3 postcards.

Here are the postcards! Love them so much...

Art Deco does Osheaga Part 2

2011-06-07T13:07:00.000-07:00

Hi Internet World - writing you from an exhausted, over-worked, and creatively stimulated state.

The poster I showed you all last week (inspired by A.M. Cassandre) focused on the crowd and the sickeningly cool people that go to Osheaga. This poster emphasizes the preforming acts and their grandeur/star appeal as they reign over Mtl during the Osheaga weekend.

Inspired by Herbert Matter, photographer, teacher, designer, and so much more, from the art deco era. Not as proud of this one as I am of the first I posted but I think the duo is great! Very much what I envisioned.

Here's part 2 of my Art Deco inspired Osheaga poster project:

And here's my inspiration by Herbert Matter:

ART DECO OSHEAGA!

2011-06-02T06:37:00.000-07:00

I showed you all the beginning of this poster in a post a couple of days ago...
Here's the (possibly) final version. I'm sure I'll be back to edit it many times. This is what usually happens when I get a project done a few days in advance!

Oh and BTW!

2011-05-31T07:52:00.000-07:00

I don't think I posted this last semester but I finished a personal website for my web design class!

Obviously there are still glitches....
But here it is!!

http://www.monlienweb.com/portfolio/erin/

An honest moment and a catch up on my design endeavours...

2011-05-31T05:41:00.000-07:00

Thanks to a few disgruntled followers (who knew I even had followers?!), I've been faced with the reality that I am letting this blog and myself (and hey, why stop there, the internet and even the world) down by not posting more often! Let's face it people, the world is a better place when I'm blogging... obviously...

Ya, ok. Back to reality. The fact is that this blog just makes me feel good. And on top of that, this blog allows me to organize my thoughts and track my progress. Maybe I don't touch anyone with my posts. Maybe no one gets me. My motivation is purely selfish. Truthfully, I've felt extremely guilty about falling behind on my posts.

If I wasn't completely submersed in school, in something that I am truly passionate about, I would feel horrible about not blogging. But hey, my life is hectic right now. All I do is create everyday. Yes, I love to create but creation on demand is something different. Over and over, day after day, with teachers telling you that your work is lacking in originality and your colleagues critiquing your every move. At the end of the day, I just want to zone out. All my energy has been going to focusing on school, keeping my head out of the summer clouds and in the sunless classrooms. It's starting to get draining.

But I know it's all worth it. My work is thriving! Anticipation for a new job in design is rising! I want to be out there. I want to show the design world what I've got. The design world can wait though, first I'll show all of you, oh loyal followers, honest and critical followers, thought-provoking followers. Let me know your thoughts!

We started the semester off with a massive illustration project for La Maudite beer by Unibroue. I wanted to push myself for this one. I spent hours on the illustration. We had one accordion style booklet (which you can see both sides of) and two stickers for a beer bottle! I was inspired by the 50's-60's, kitchy horror film posters and the damsels in distress that were definitely beautiful but not always the best actresses...

Stickers for the bottle

Both sides of the accordion booklet

Booklet detail

One of the incredibly exciting things about this semester is the fact that us design students get to work with a photography student. We will be their clients and art directors and in turn, they will be our clients and we need to guide them through the design process while still respecting their wants and needs. The collaboration that allowed for some incredible photoshoots and idea generation!

Tomorrow I am shooting pictures for my portfolio! Here's my inspiration:

A snippet of the photoshoots and branding that I've aided in to promote the photography student I'm working with will be up soon. For now, we're keeping it a secret so we can blow all the other students away... :)

I have a bunch of projects going on at the moment but here's the last I'll be giving you a taste of... The beginning of a poster for Osheaga in Montreal. Inspired by A. M. Cassandre, designer of the Art Deco era - all about patterns, geometry, adornments, style and perspective. Can't wait to see the final results.

Hope this appeases any of you out there that are interested in what I've been up to. It's definitely felt good to give my blog some loving!

The Joys of HTML and CSS

2011-03-24T06:22:00.001-07:00

As I've said in a previous blog post, I'm presently learning web design in school. I'm actually really enjoying it since it's so mathematical and logical. Connecting irrational and dreamy designs with a rigid code and structure has been a welcome challenge!

Unfortunately, the Prof who teaches this class is not really interested in the design aspects and tends to give us assignments that are dull or extremely masculine (especially since our class consists of 11 women and only 1 man). During our last assignment, 8 out of the 12 students got stuck making websites on sporting good companies. Luckily for me, I got Playstation! I am nowhere close to even being a nube but the subject matter was inspiring none the less. I found a playstation symbol font and the project just rolled right on from there...

N.B. Please don't read the body content... I am so not a playstation type of girl! It's just weak people, so weak!

Here's a screenshot for the Playstation 3 console

And here's one for the PS3 games...

A Milestone!

2011-03-24T06:15:00.001-07:00

Guess what,.... I reached 100 views on a blog post last week! This has never happened!

In fact, I'm feeling pretty good right now because every post I've made in 2011 has gotten more views than the last. This is wonderful news for me considering I started this blog over a year and a half ago and I'm only now getting some momentum. It's even better news due to the thought, heart and soul that I poured into that last post - I'm so proud that's the post that got me to my 100th view...

This experience that has really taught me the benefits of putting yourself out there and not worrying about others' judgments but rather, being open to their criticism. Yes, I know I'm just talking about my personal blog and the life lesson does seem rather weighty considering the medium, but it's so true. I'm blown-away by the affect this blog has had on me.

Anyways, this is just a short thanks to all those that have supported me along this journey!

The Issue with Specialization in a World of Systems

2011-03-15T09:05:00.001-07:00

For years, I was told, the only way to succeed in this day and age of buy and sell and push and produce and create, create, create is through specialization. You cannot be a jack-of-all-trades, otherwise, you’re good at lots but great at little.

I’ve spent some time now, out of University, on my quest for specialization and creating my perfect niche between marketing and design. Now that I’ve stepped out of my university bubble and have continued my education in another domain, I see how misleading this push towards specialization can be. Don’t get me wrong, it’s wonderful to be great at something but…. Well, just stay with me and we’ll get to the point.

I’m presently reading “The Mysterious Island” by Jules Verne; The story of 5 men who are stranded on an island after a tumultuous hot-air balloon escape. These men have the physical and more importantly, mental, resources to not only survive but thrive on this island. It seems no matter what issue they are faced with, one of them has the solution. Yes, this is a fantasy, but it’s gotten me thinking – If I, the sustainable marketer/designer, were stranded on an island with 4 of my peers, how would we do? Would we have a kiln built and dinner in bowls only 3 weeks after our arrival on the island? It’s laughable really, how greatly we would struggle and probably fail. Being the specialized modernists that we are, we lack the essential knowledge that was, not so long ago, essential to survival.

In this day and age, university graduates are all being pushed towards specialization. If you study a little bit of everything, you are a floater, unfocused and simply have not yet found your path (but you’re the type of person I’d love to have on that island with me). The issue with this mentality is that students feel the need to specialize so strongly, that they close their minds to the nuances and connections that are around them in every direction. Everything is connected! Yet, on our quest for a niche career, we forget this. How does chemistry relate to philosophy, art to business, relationships to the economy? Why don’t we ask ourselves these questions more often?

Didn’t Leonardo Da Vinci say something along the lines of - The world is a complex system of simple things? A system… Functioning together and affecting everything around it, whether we acknowledge it or not. Recently, I made a connection with a sustainability expert – Michelle Holliday. (For those of you who know me or read this blog, you know that I want to work in sustainable design, so this chance encounter was a great one.) I heard her speak of her notion that all things in life, your body, your company, your community, is a living ecosystem. Working together towards a goal. Again, this notion of system arises. Systems and connectivity, both are filling my thoughts these days.

I see now that on my quest to focus my knowledge, I am in fact broadening it and connecting the dots. Yes, we must specialize in order to become valuable members of society but as we do so, we must remember to take the time to step back and see how everything connects. How does what we’re doing affect the people around us, our community, our environment, our economy, the system we are a part of?

This year, I’ve delved further into my passions of marketing, design and sustainability and, I see it all so clearly now, marketing, business-2-business, design, sustainability, service… it’s all connected and all of it affects the living system that we are a part of.

To go off on a tangent:
The only way that businesses and inevitably, the human race, will survive is to start considering their impact on their ecosystem. They must understand that all efforts are connected to either their existence, or their demise. Sustainability people! It needs to become a way of life. After all, what is sustainability other than simply striving to last long? Don’t we all want this?
I digress.

So, specialization isn’t a bad thing, as long as you have the intelligence, curiosity and observation skills to step back and understand how this all relates to the bigger picture. This intense focus on the bottom line, be it monetary or a career goal or the picket fence, is the reason our lives, our communities and our planet are in such shambles.

Teachers For Hope!

2011-03-06T12:58:00.001-08:00

I'm working on another project for my loving mother. She is always so incredibly supportive of my artistic and graphic endeavours!

This is a poster for a fundraiser called the Teachers For Hope being put on by Bishop's University School of Education.
A great event: delicious meal, live entertainment, silent art auction. Proceeds go to supporting the Bishop's/Champlain Refugee-Student Sponsorship Committee and the Kibena Women's Association of Njombe, Tanzania.

This isn't the final draft (Yes, I'm still living in 2010 apparently...), but you'll get a good idea of what the final version will look like!

If any of you are in Sherbrooke on the weekend of the 26th - treat yourself to a great meal and some beautiful art to support a great cause!

Moleskin Retrospective - Journal #2

2011-02-28T07:24:00.000-08:00

So, as I've indicated, this project is taking up a great deal of time... It's a huge piece of work. I'm submitting the website for my web design class this week but it's definitely a diluted version of what the final one will be.

For the diluted website, I chose only 3 entries from my journal to indicate major moments throughout the trip... May 10: Our first drawing class and the sense of settling into our Italian life; May 17: The Pugnalone Festival, the sun finally comes out, the group joy, inner-tensions with certain group members; and May 27: A stop in Orvieto before Florence, We are in heaven, I am more content than I've ever been.

In the larger website that I'm envisioning, all entries will be compiled along with the sketches of the day, things I picked up, pictures I took,... It will truly demonstrate the day to day of our drawing trip.

Here's journal entry #2 from the smaller site...

May 17 -
Yesterday was incredible. Finally a little sun, heat, energy, balance, positivity.

Needed to be away from the roommates and the regular people. Went to the city with Eliza and Sophie. The Pugnalones were displayed in the piazza. Beautiful colours and breath-taking artistry. So much more than I expected it to be. Art made from nature, petals, leaves, dirt, bark… Enjoyed a delicious pastry and caffe latte. Why does everything taste so much better here? Maybe it’s the lack of stress, the increased focus on my senses.

I’m enjoying things from all angles, all aspects.

We sat in an arch looking out over the piazza and sketched. The piazza slowly filled with people as they prepared for the festival to begin. The procession was led by drummers and brass. It filled my heart and my body was beating along with the rhythm. Flag throwers, amazing costumes, pride, culture, belonging, family, heritage. INCREDIBLE. I’ve never experienced anything like it.

The other girls and I were all buzzing from the passion, crowd, dedication of the performers and village.

The festival lasted a few hours but I could have sat in that crowd for days.

The Pugnalones were walked back into the piazza… shortly followed by the Virgin Mary and another band, more somber music but so fitting.

As she was carried by, ppl “crossed” themselves and fell in walking behind her. So much belief and culture. I was part of something so big and so deep. I felt incredibly privileged and was reeling from the excitement all night.

Two of the teams had dinner at Buonhumore. The energy was everywhere – cheers, yells, beats, smiles, yelling, laughing! So amazing! We sat at our table amidst it all and joined in to the beating. We were again, incredibly privileged and welcomed into this amazingly rich community experience. We drank LOTS of wine, maybe too much… We were invited to the piazza for the “younger” team members’ post-Pugnalone congregation/celebration.

SO MUCH ENERGY! SO MUCH EXCITEMENT AND SO MUCH HISTORY. We Canadians laughed and joined in as much as we could. Amazing day.

My eyes and soul are open to Acquapendente. The people and their traditions are incredible.

Woke up far too spinny and hungover… many dreams of Sophie. She’s so amazing and so real. Compassionate and empathetic aswell. Qualities I need to work on in myself.

We went to Bolsena and drew from the main piazza, the medieval town and the archway that leads into it.

I feel the progression in my art. Learning to feel less frustrated with inaccuracy and lack of precision and enjoying it for what it is. It always ends up more interesting when I abandon what I’m doing. I’ll never be able to more forward and develop unless I do.

Some people are starting to drive me a little crazy. Forming opinions of ppl that I know will eventually be revealed to them. I’m opinionated and don’t give a shit. If I hear/see something I don’t like, I’m going to say it.

I’m coming to that limit with certain people. Annoyed with their lack of consideration, lack of passion w/ class and Michele and their lack of willingness to let go of old habits and allow this experience in. I need to say something to them because their negativity is starting to affect my experience…

Maybe this in an opportunity for me to learn how to disconnect from ppl around me and their emotions.

Focus on my drawing, an open mind, soaking up the experience and focus on not allowing others' downers to bring me down.

A sketch of the crowd waiting for the Pugnalone Festival to begin.

Moleskin Retrospective Website is Advancing!

2011-02-27T17:43:00.000-08:00

I am so so excited by this project. Granted, it's taking up so much of my free time and I'm becoming rather obsessed by it, but nonetheless, it's coming along wonderfully!

Here's a screen shot of the website from the section "Personal Sketches"!

Moleskin Retrospective - May 6, 2010 - June 6, 2010

2011-02-20T10:11:00.000-08:00

For a while now, I've been forming an online project in my mind but haven't had the opportunity to bring it to fruition.

I've wanted to create an online collection of my journaling from my Italy 2010 drawing trip. By packaging my journal entries, photos, personal sketches, course sketches and scans of all my random pamphlets, tickets and handouts, I believe I could recreate my experience.

Evidently, my own ego will be satiated by putting my work out there... but It's way more than that. It's about creating a digital snippet of a journey. An art project that took almost a year to come about - a month of intensive drawing, observations, emotions and exploration and a subsequent 9 months of contemplation and growing awareness of the impact this journey has had on who am I and where my life is going.

In my web design class, I have recently been given the mandate of creating a website - the topic is ours to choose and really, we are only fulfilling a few html requirements - so it could be extremely general and simple. But, I want to make this project personal. I have already completed half my design diploma, which means that I have only 4 more months to come up with a portfolio of pieces that truly represent me. I don't just want to meet requirements, I want to pour my heart out.

So my web page will be step one of my online Italy journal. The beginning of my Moleskin Retrospective.

For the sake of opening myself up to the internet world (as if I don't already do it) - here is an entry from my Italy moleskin.... Uncensored (apart from a couple of names), unedited. A review of my first drawing class in Italy.

May 10, 2010

Today was definitely step one in embracing the positive and accepting the negative, but more importantly – MOVING on & FORWARD from it!

Woke up feeling extremely crappy after it took me a long time to get to sleep and was woken by a fly buzzing by my ear. Two extremely weird nightmares:
1 – Woman (anorexic) wearing red leather dress and black zip up leather heals to her thighs. Beating Edward against another cat and she killed him.
2 - ***** wanting to leave ***** and refusing to listen to reason. Acting like an adolescent with her IPod earphones in.

Was slow to get into it but was quickly rejuvenated by Michele’s first drawing class. We walked down a country path. Old wooden broken down fence lining the way, trees surrounding us, creating a canopy of green foliage.

I sat attentively, soaking up her passion, love, wisdom & SENSUAL sentences. She feels everything she says. She breathes art. She wants us to experience art w/ all 5 senses. Drawing w/ an open mind, drawing in the present and walking the thin line connecting what we can depict in a 15 min sketch with reality. The drawing becomes our reality of the situation.

She expects passion from us. A constant connection between ourselves and the drawing. We need to submerse ourselves.

I am ready. I am completely ready. I want this experience and what I learn to define me and shape the rest of my life.

We drew four sketches – each time I took in what she said to improve. I want to show my passion to her, not for the grade and not for her respect but for me - In order to not do this half assed. I will benefit most if I’m a nerd about it. A shameless drawing nerd.

We showed our drawings for critique from Michele. Mine were mentioned twice as very strong. But I have a long way to go. It needs to be less about drawing it and more about feeling it – putting my feelings about what I’m seeing down on paper. Feeling what I’m seeing and interpreting it. Understanding the skeleton and structure and building up around that, less “exactly” what I’m seeing and more what I’m experiencing.

I loved every second. Classes only this morning, wasn’t enough. MORE MORE MORE PLEASE. I felt relaxed, I felt whole and good with myself.

Drawing makes me feel alive, connected to what’s happening around me.

It was good for my soul and I can’t wait for tomorrow.

As usual, missing Peter, my lover, but feeling more attached to the people around me, especially specific aspects of them. Connected to the good and trying to avoid the negative.

Rich personalities, warm people, interesting conversations. We’re already a strange little family.

A few observations short of a socially intelligent being

2011-02-08T05:13:00.000-08:00

Disclaimer: There's really no point to this blog post other than to vent (without naming names) of those close to me who truly lack awareness of their social impact.

What makes someone socially intelligent? Is it part of their genetic make-up? Is it their parents' influence? Is it their ability to observe?

What makes some socially unintelligent (The S.U.'s of our society)? I've been thinking about this one alot lately. Recently I've come in contact with a wide array of socially inept - from the forgivable loud walkers to the punishable biggots. The open-mouthed chewers, the young kids with their music blasting in the metro, the middle-aged who feel justified and attempt to embarrass the up-and-comers around them (jaded nurses, professors, that one woman who constantly walks into classes at Interdec College), people who invade others' space with their negativity; the list goes on and on.

Evidently, I'm a little annoyed about all this S.U. behaviour. Frankly, it irritates me to the point of altering my good moods. (I know this is something I need to learn to externalize).

I blame it on being observant. I notice the faces, postures, groans, retorts of those who have been in the presence of someone who is S.U. To be honest, there are times that I'd rather not notice it at all, I would be a much less annoyed individual and I would not be so privy to the awkwardness of certain interactions around me. However... let's face it, much better to be aware! I'll take the ability to observe over being selfish and inconsiderate, any day!

And to those around me who have irritated classrooms, metro cars and friends with their selfish behaviour, I say: open your eyes! You are negatively impacting the people around you!!

Rant over.

Delicious Recipe #2!

2011-02-02T15:45:00.000-08:00

It's cold, it's snowing, take-out is crappy and expensive. And... btw loyal followers (if you're out there :)), my first recipe post got me the most page views I've gotten since I started this blog in 2009 - so here goes Recipe NUMERO DEUX!

A delicious soup that is filling, tasty, acidic, different, and quick to make! Always amazing to try out new recipes that actually surprise you. Peter and I will undoubtedly be making this one again. This recipe was found in Issue 51 of The Donna Hay Magazine that included 25 recipes for simple soups! I'm sure I'll be posting another one of the recipes soon considering how great this one turned out.

Without further ado -

Chicken, Risoni, Lemon Soup!
4 medium sized servings

1. Heat 1 tablespoon oil in a saucepan over high heat.
2. Add 1 chopped brown onion and 1 sliced clove garlic and cook for 1-2 minutes.
3. Add 4 chicken thigh filets, 1 litre chicken stock and 2 cups water and cook for 20 minutes.
4. Remove chicken, shred and set aside.
5. Add 1 cup risoni to the pan and cook for 6-8 minutes.
6. Add the chicken with 1 tablespoon finely grated lemon rind, 1/4 cup lemon juice and 1/2 cup flat-leaf parsley leaves.
7. Sprinkle with finely grated parmesan and lemon zest to serve!

Enjoy it and please let me know what you think of the it!

Inspiration EVERYWHERE - Some recent finds...

2011-01-30T16:32:00.000-08:00

I've always been a curious person I suppose, but my recent leap into a design career and increased internet surfing has seriously peek my curiousity. I mean, come on people, how amazing is TWITTER?! Compelling content that I ask to hear about. What more could you ask for from a social media website?

Sure does beat the 30 posts a day from that one facebook friend who spends all their time on Farmville...

And Reddit?! Granted, I don't have an account and am not the most frequent visitor, but my bf sends me all the links I'd be interested in. He's like my personal Twitter filter for Reddit :).

And on the subject of inspiration, did any of you head out to the Igloofest in Montreal this month? What a visual trip! The lights, the ice sculptures, the people, the music... and the brilliant event marketing. Igloofest = My Heaven = Marketing+Design for the 20 somethings.

ALSO, TEDxConcordia - Feb 19, I'm there, Baby!

I'm bursting with excitement from all the stimulation and inspiration I've gotten from 2011 so far. I'm hungry for more.

Here are a few items to spark you're curiousity as well:

JOOZE - The sweetest juice box packaging I've ever seen.

http://lovelypackage.com/student-work-yunyeen-yong/

A still from Amelie - exceptional film and the inspiration for my newly acquired haircut :)

3-D Crayola Chalk??!?!? Light years beyond my childhood art tools

Igloofest scene! This shot doesn't do it justice but it gives you a tiny taste...

I dare you not to love this song! Janelle Monae, thank the universe for you. Faster, off her lastest album Arch Android.

Vibrant floral patterns... I'm a sucker for them.

On the topic of floral patterns.... William Morris, Pattern God. (My new title image is a William Morris pattern)

Art by Gordon Reid of Middle Boop

Marian Bantjes -- she must be on the verge of insanity... Her work is insanely beautiful and insanely meticulous

Ink in water.... I am fascinated.

A final image to ponder over: Space colonies. Ya.... sit on that one for a while.

Salad d'Amour!

2011-01-23T14:54:00.000-08:00

In the spirit of savouring in 2011, I've been exploring some new food avenues! New restos, and mostly, new recipes at home. What better time to do it then during the coldest months of winter, when all you want to do is hibernate and keep warm. A few extra pounds sure will help the cause!

I must come clean, we did start the year off with several food comas! A phenomenal aged-cheddar and asiago fondue with friends for one... Followed by a weekend of BBQ's, homemade pizza and greasy breakfasts. But we're turning it around! Let's face it, it makes you feel great on a cold winter's night but a meat or cheese extravaganza doesn't sit right at 6:30 a.m. when you're on your way to a 10 hour day of classes. I'm extremely busy with school and my assisting and the last thing I need is to get sick or feel run-down. So.... healthy foods it is!

Recently, I was given the "Vegan on a Shoestring" cookbook, written by the People's Potato Collective. Big ups to the People's Potato - a student run organization that offers free, daily, vegan meals to all Concordia students. All the recipes are focused around health, being informed about what you eat and most importantly, flavour. Also encouraging this delve into culinary exploration is my incessant watching of Top Chef - and again, it's all about smaller portions and bigger flavour.

This week, we have promised ourselves a few things: no eating out, less meat and 4 new recipes!

On our weekly menu:

- A chicken, grape, prosciutto and basil pasta
- A trout filet with fenil and endives
- A lentil bolognese in spaghetti squash
- A "Vegan on a Shoestring" Love Salad

We tried out the Salad D'Amour tonight!!

Here's the recipe for all my foodie followers:

Salad D'Amour
Make this love salad, not war! This recipe is always a hit with friends and family. Thanks Lysanne!

Prep Time: 30-40 Mins
Yield: 1 Large serving bowl

Salad Ingredients:
2 C rice, cooked
3 C bean sprouts
1 1/2 C baby spinach, packed
3 celery stalks, sliced
1 C, sliced mushrooms
1 pepper of any colour, diced small
1/2 C cashews, roughly chopped
3 Tbsp fresh cilantro, roughly chopped

Dressing Ingredients:
1/4 C soy sauce
1/2 C Olive Oil
1 Garlic clove, minced

Directions:
1. Mix dressing ingredients together in a bowl. Prepare the dressing a little ahead of time to let the flavours mingle.
2. Toss all the salad ingredients in a large bowl.
3. Toss well and serve.

Incredibly simple to make and delicious!

We made a few adjustments: To make a more complete meal, we added half an avocado (splashed with lemon) and a hard-boiled egg (salt and pepper to taste) on the side. We also substituted some of the olive oil for sesame oil.... A yummy taste compliment with the soy sauce!

Just had to do it... Resolutions for 2011

2011-01-07T08:24:00.000-08:00

Not usually my style to come up with resolutions for the new year, but as I mentioned in my previous post, I'm feeling rather sad about the end of 2010 - so I want to keep up the positive energy and momentum and in true new year's form, I will do so with resolutions. No these will not be the regular, eat better, save money and exercise... although I could use a little of all three - these resolutions focus on creating mental and emotional stability (in my career and in my relationships) and encouraging an INSPIRED lifestyle.

There has been a big change in me since 2009 when I started writing this blog. I strongly believe that a great majority of my personal development is due to the fact that this blog has allowed me to reflect and write down my aspirations. So here they are... by putting them out their for readers, I'm encouraging myself to follow-through.

#1
One-a-day drawing challenge
I learnt last semester that the design can really suck me in, distract me from the other IMPORTANT happenings in my day-to-day, take away from my relationships and cause me to create only for projects, rather than sheer enjoyment. Although I'm loving studying design, I see now that it can become difficult to turn your design brain off in order to focus on you and the important people around you. I want to take this year to learn how to step away from projects.

My boyfriend was challenged to a blog test by his father - Peter must write a blog-a-day (monetary gain is a main driver, but the self-reflection and encouraged work-ethic will be great gains as well). Inspired by Peter's daily blog post, I decided to take on a one-drawing-a-day challenge that will encourage me to stay in touch with myself creatively. It will also allow me to have at least a half hour every day to shut off my brain and step away from the school-induced, design trance. I'm hoping that this forced trance-escape will bring me back to reality and remind me to enjoy my time out of school with my mind also, out of school.

#2
Be present
While in Italy, I learnt that the smallest distraction can take away from the impact of what's directly in front of you. Seems rather obvious, right? However, you don't actually realize it until you shut off your cellphone and ipod, go for a walk, open your eyes and soak up what's around you. (Give it a try!)

We are a distracted generation, and I am a product of these times. Often, I will be focused on several things as once: my work, my laptop, my cellphone, my plans for the weekend, my relationships, what food we need to buy. This inevitably, takes away from my enjoyment of what's happening directly in front of me.

I want to take this year to be present, in the moment, wholeheartedly. When in school, I will not check my facebook. When spending time with my boyfriend, I will shut my laptop. When having dinner, I will focus on the bites rather than the show in the background. I will give myself time to plan, dwell, multi-task, over-think, conceptualize... but once done, I will drop that topic and focus on the next task. Focus on my life.

#3
Savour
This goes hand in hand with being present. But with savouring comes enjoying. I want to enjoy and become inspired by the small things around me. I want to enjoy the flavours, colours, textures, aromas and tones of all around me. I want to see patterns and engrain them in my mind so that I can recreate them with my own flare. I want to smell herbs at the Atwater market, use them to create a meal with my boyfriend, and then savour my time in the kitchen while we make the dish. I want to appreciate the unconditional love that my kittens give me. I want to enjoy more varieties of cheese. I want to learn more about the subtleties of wine. The world around me, including my apartment, community and Montreal, have so much richness, I don't want to let my daily affairs get in the way of enjoying it all.

#4
Become Informed and... Inspired
The only way for me to thrive in graphic design is to know what's out there, who's at the top and what it takes to get to the top. Especially with my interest in sustainable design, a field that has yet to be fully tapped into and which is, just now, growing in popularity, I MUST become informed! What firms are involved in conscious design? How can I get involved on a personal basis?

This year will be one of blog & book reading, image saving, teacher nagging and podcast listening, possibly conference attending? I need to create a bank of information. Once I complete this diploma and am looking for a position, I will know what companies I want to work for, which designers I admire, what campaigns I find inspiring and.. who knows what else? I wonder...

My boyfriend's father told me, while we were speaking about the one-blog-a-day initiative, "you create your habits in your 20's, you live with your habits in your 30's". I want to be someone who takes their personal and professional endeavours into their own hands.

It's a new dawn, it's a new day

2011-01-02T06:52:00.000-08:00

It doesn't happen to me every year, but right now, I'm definitely feeling the New Year's Blues. That nostalgia that kicks in around Dec 30th is sweeping through my thoughts, causing me to be lethargic, moody and feel isolated. I know some of it has to do with the fact that I had an incredibly hectic (and definitely enjoyable) month of December, and now I have only to relax until I start school on Jan. 10th. I know it also must have a little something to do with the fact that I didn't speak to one of my best friends during the month of December (we got into a disagreement that we both sat on for longer than usual). But I think at the core, this feeling of New Year's Blues has to do with the fact that 2010 was just the... best year ever, how could I even try to top it?

I felt so positive this past year. Thriving during my last semester of Marketing, moving in with Peter, going to Italy, getting a great position as a teacher's assistant, deciding to study graphic design and subsequently, thriving in my graphic design courses. And now, this year is all over. I fear that I may loose my momentum. I fear that growing older may cause me to become harder, more jaded, less positive.

I'm realizing more and more that life is tough - money, relationships, competition, stress, deadlines... they all get to you. Doesn't that hard exterior and pessimism just come with age?? After all, I am on the verge of 25, shouldn't an "aged" negativity be kicking in permanently at some point soon? (A fear I mull over on at least a weekly basis).

Since I was a young girl, I always told myself (and honestly believed), that I could do anything and that I could live a happy and fulfilled life. This is a sentiment that I've brought with me into my 20's. As I come into contact with more and more unhappy and jaded people, I realize that my hopes of being fulfilled with my career choices and happy in my relationships, will be much harder to achieve than the 10 year old me, and even 23 year old me would believe. I've realized in the last couple of years that some people just end up on the wrong path, and they don't even notice it until they're middle-aged and completely down on themselves. This is possibly my biggest fear.

It's easy to fall into a rut. It's easy to fall into routines and not push boundaries. It's easy to believe that the worst will happen and not put yourself out there. It's easy to fear rejection and criticism. And as I've learnt more recently, It's easy to fall into line and travel down a predetermined life path - make career choices based on upper management or societal pressures, make life choices based on pleasing the people around you rather than yourself, mold yourself into who others want or need you to be.

As I enter into this deciding year, a year during which I will complete my design diploma, start my career in graphic design, move into my second and larger home with my boyfriend, I find it essential to be in tune with my emotions and remind myself that I am not mediocre - in my choices or my creations. I will not take the easy path. I want to go into this year with as much enthusiasm and grit as the hard-headed, 10 year old me would have devoted to it.

Yes, it is normal to lament on all the great things past, so I will absorb the feeling of loss for today. Then, I will move on. This post is to remind me to look forward, and remind me to keep my mind, energy & positivity in the NOW. It will be difficult to keep up my momentum, and it will be easier to succumb to pressures and become what others need me to be. I need to remind myself that I'm on a mission here - to be happy. Just because I'm getting older, doesn't mean I need to get negative and jaded. This is a mantra I know I'll have to repeat on countless occasions throughout my life. It's not easy to stay true to yourself, keep your positive energy up, thrive from the stress rather than become defeated. Yes, those negative habits can take over and you wake up one day feeling as though your life is not where you want it to be. But I want to believe that if you put the effort into envisioning your life as you want it, and work at it with a positive outlook, things will work out in your favour. Outcomes have less to do with their impact on you and more to do with your impact on them. I have control over my emotions and my emotions shape my life.

2011 is mine for the taking!

Chance Encounters

2010-11-27T09:07:00.001-08:00

This year has been a big one for personal and career changes. Sometimes the universe just falls right into place and hands you a key to the next portion of your path. If you know me, you know that I believe in fate, destiny and karma. I believe that there is a greater force -- let's call it simply, energy. In the last year, I feel as though I've made great strides in discovering myself, accepting who I am at the core and encouraging personal flourishing. I have sent positive energy into the universe. I have been confident in myself. I have had faith in the power of envisioning a destination and attaining it. All in all, I'm attempting to put my best foot forward.

But what is all of this worth if my daily positive efforts do not encounter another persons' efforts? If I do not affect anyone around me, then how can my life advance to the place that I envision it? I have been shown over and over this year that momentum in my life is accelerated substantially through chance encounters.

Last semester, as I mentioned in a previous blog post, I wanted to leave a mark on JMSB and go out with a bang. I intentionally stepped up my game and proved to myself and my class mates that I am intelligent, well-spoken and can hold my own in a professional setting. I made some marks on professors and I am giving myself a huge pat on the back for having done so. These professors are now showing me what it means to have connections, a strong network and most importantly, mentors. I am learning what it is to be in the "real-world" and to maneuver through bureaucracy, politics, and older men who think they're above me. :)

The professor I work for has put me in contact with the art director of Little Burgundy shoes. She is an amazing women! She has made me feel so right in my choices so far. I am headed down a similar path that she was on at my age... and look where she is now! And she's only 32. Who knows what this connection will mean once I'm finished my graphic design diploma and looking for a job.

Although I always suspected it, this year has solidified that the chance encounters you make can change the trajectory of your life. Not only in a professional way, but in a spiritual and emotional way as well. I now seeing meeting new people as an opportunity for change, excitement and a new perspective. I met an extremely interesting young woman this summer who was bursting with positive energy and hope. She said that meeting people was her favorite activity since she believes you can learn something new from every person you come across. She went on to say that everyone sees the world in different colours and opening your mind will enable you to see the world with more vibrancy. Takes the negative "personal gain" twinge out of networking, right? It's not about networking, it's about building new relationships.

These chance encounters can happen at any moment! You have to be ready. Think about it when you dress in the morning. Think about it when you have a sour face on after a long day of work. Think about it as you take the metro. Thinking about the possibility of these chance encounters has made me a more open-minded person. It forces me to put a smile on even if I'm not feeling so great. And all around it makes me more thoughtful and kind towards others. Who knows how the person next to you could end up changing your direction or outlook?

Italia in a tiny, tiny, nutshell...

2010-11-10T20:00:00.000-08:00

As an example for one of her classes, my mother asked me to create a video composed of pictures, voice over, music and transitions...

What better topic to create a video of than Italy!? I had over 2000 pics to choose from and could talk about it for hours. Quite frankly, it was a great sum up of the trip for me; even though there was absolutely no way this video could do the trip justice... None the less, a touching reminder... and it was definitely liberating to talk about it and work on it, sort of like trip closure.

I've tried on countless occasions, unsuccessfully, to upload the vid through Blogspot. So here's a link to the vid on Youtube!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5KNj4c0__MM

Creating Consciously

2010-10-18T15:59:00.000-07:00

I've recently discovered my passion for conscious creation; that is, creating with the earth and sustainability in mind. In a recent assignment for school, I had to come up with a book front and back cover. I could choose any book or invent the book and invent the blurb. I'm dedicated to not wasting any projects throughout this diploma! Every project will be aimed at a final vision. A vision of me and where I want to be in the (near) future. I'm a big fan and believer in positive thinking. I believe that if you continuously send positive energy towards envisioning yourself in a specific position, place, type of relationship, eventually, you will end up where you want to be. Positive energy attracts positive energy. At the very least, my projects will depict my interests and will tell a story about me.

Speaking of completed projects that speak volumes about me:
The promotional videos that I directed and edited (with the help of JMSB video tech), are officially done and links are posted online!! I'm am thrilled with the final results! Three promo videos for the two classes I am assisting: Service Marketing and B2B Marketing. Three promo videos that demonstrate the benefits of a customer focused strategy, the importance of a design mind in marketing, the necessity of relationship based marketing and the advantage once graduated of having taken these courses. All aspects that I can attest to and that I'm truly passionate about! I'll post a link to them soon...

In the mean time, check out my book front and back covers!

The Burden of Honesty and The Time for Change

2010-10-14T20:45:00.000-07:00

I left home at 17, eager to be independent and eager to get away from the constant squabbles between my father and I. I was home this weekend for thanksgiving, over 7 years since I moved away. I got into a discussion with my sister. A discussion that bore far too much resemblance to the arguments I had moved away from, a discussion that focused around my lack of empathy for my sister. I had said things that offended her, hurt her feelings, made her feel judged. I hadn't even thought twice about the sentences that bothered her. To me, there were just observations, sheer honesty. The fact is, I'm an honest person. Back in the day, when I was 17, argumentative and hard-headed (not much has changed), I felt deep guilt when told that I was insensitive. These arguments made me feel like a horrible, selfish person. Possibly to protect myself from those feelings of guilt, I came to terms with the fact that I was simply an opinionated and truthful (at times, loud mouthed) person. I was not being selfish, I was being me.

There comes a time in your life when you have to let go of the negativity that lingers from your adolescent angst. I realize now that I am so hellbent on identifying as an "honest and upfront" person in large part due to the need to prove to my family members that I am not selfish or insensitive - I'm just honest. I say something that hurts someone and rather than owning up and attempting to change, I say "Sorry, this is me". Change is hard, I guess I was avoiding it.

Now that I understand what type of person I am, and now that I understand that my blunt, and sometimes brutal, honesty hurts people, what am I to do? Here comes the lesson, sometimes it's better to simply keep it to myself – swallow my pride and swallow the need to say what’s on my mind. It's proving to be incredibly tough.

During my discussion with my sister this weekend, my father had had enough and intervened: "That's enough! Erin, you hurt her feelings, don't ask why, ask what you can do to change the way she's feeling! Andrea, your sister will not change, you may have to grow a thicker skin! This is about social and emotional intelligence! This is simple, think about what you say and how it makes others feel!!" he said (...yelled...).

I must say, this yelling session did bring back those defensive feelings from high school. It made me want to stand up to my father and show him that my opinion counts. But in this case, he was entirely right. I am proud of the fact that I am an honest individual who doesn't hold back and shows my true emotions; however, I am now old enough to put my pride aside and understand that sometimes, my need to be honest is simply not as important as others' comfort.

But, this blog is about working towards becoming a well-rounded and successful businesswoman and therefore, all post should be directed towards this cause! As touched upon by my wise father, this weekend of realization has shown me a lot about business interactions and the need to be as emotionally in tune as possible. If my goal is to one day run my own business, I need to understand people and be able to successfully maneuver around any and all social interactions, emotionally charge or not. I need to have a firm grasp on when to keep my mouth shut and when to add a little white lie. Not for my own advancement in a specific position, but so as to avoid hurting people. Hurting those around me inevitably causes me a great deal of pain, long-lasting guilt and causes them to resent me. I'm at the age now that I'm ready to let go of my pride and the hard-headedness of the 17 year old in me. I want to work at being a better adult, one who can become aware of their faults and work at them, one who's fair, one who's respected and constructively critical when needed. Change is hard, I get that now. I see it all clearly and I'm ready to grow up.

Tough being sustainable in Mtl

2010-09-30T07:40:00.000-07:00

Being in school surrounded by people wasting paper - printing the same images over and over, I've become rather jaded about my future as a designer. Is it really necessary to waste in this profession?? Isn't there a way to create in a sustainable manner?! Where can I study sustainable design!?

We live in a pre-apocolyptic world - and I don't think I'm being over dramatic about it.
A friend of mine recently told me about presentations given by Harvard professors - Harvard Thinks Big. Professors discussed topics they were most passionate about. Psychology professor Daniel Gilbert discussed sustainability and the climate crisis. "A war on global warming should seem as crucial to us as the War on Terror." - Gilbert.

Here's an article on Harvard Thinks Big:
http://www.thecrimson.com/article/2010/2/12/professor-harvard-event-professors/

But why aren't we more involved in a war to save our planet? According to Gilbert, the threat of global warming does not appear immediate, immoral, imminent or instantaneous enough for us to feel physically unsafe and therefore, our survival instincts don't kick in and pump up the pressure to REACT!

Check out the video and become a little more conscious:
http://vimeo.com/10324258

There was recently a not-for-profit film created called Home that was released through digital medias to encourage society's involvement in the fight against global warming. The film states that in fact, we have ONLY 10 years to completely change up the way we're doing things or... we're literally, fucked. (My first and only swear in this blog and I stand behind it).

Here's the blurb on the vid:

We are living in exceptional times. Scientists tell us that we have 10 years to change the way we live, avert the depletion of natural resources and the catastrophic evolution of the Earth's climate.

The stakes are high for us and our children. Everyone should take part in the effort, and HOME has been conceived to take a message of mobilization out to every human being.

For this purpose, HOME needs to be free. A patron, the PPR Group, made this possible. EuropaCorp, the distributor, also pledged not to make any profit because Home is a non-profit film.

HOME has been made for you : share it! And act for the planet.

Yann Arthus-Bertrand

HOME official website
http://www.home-2009.com

PPR is proud to support HOME
http://www.ppr.com

HOME is a carbon offset movie
http://www.actioncarbone.org

More information about the Planet
http://www.goodplanet.info

So, back to little old me and the spec that is Mtl. I've come to the point where I can't sit back any longer and ignore the responsibility that I have as a visiting homosapien to this planet. I'm starting to feel honest regret and sadness when I see waste. I'm starting to loose sleep over it. I do my best on a daily basis to REDUCE, REUSE and RECYCLE. Yet, I'm surrounded by friends who think they can't make a difference and surrounded by teachers who encourage useless printing and numerous copies of the same document. Beyond that, I take the metro (instead of bike). I use aerosol products. This summer, I used my A/C. I eat meat. It seems like an impossible fight! It's overwhelming and truthfully depressing. Visuals of our destroyed oceans, rivers, glaciers, extinct animal life, logged forests make me choke up. I'm feeling the weight of my indebtedness to this planet and I must act. I'll reinforce positive behaviour from those around me even though I get looks of annoyance. "Who is this know-it-all?" they think. "How condescending!". I will push through, you can give me your looks, we are talking about our planet and the future of our progeny. The only way to get people involved is to break the cycle of naivety and ignorance.

Our entire education process must be geared towards conscious living and reducing waste. Why don't we have electronic textbooks yet? Computerized exams? People need to be shown by example. People need to be shunned for negative behaviour. The only way to do that is to teach and encourage the youngest and, as GenY, we must step up. Evidently, the older generations (I'm obviously generalizing here) are set in their ways, hard-headed and as nature dictates it, on the outs. Therefore, the fight against the climate crisis is our task to take up! Set examples for those around you and think local rather than global. Focus on the community rather than international. Support sustainability around you.

In the mean time, I will attempt to create in ways that make the planet smile. Reusing, reducing, recycling, DIY, baking, purchasing home-grown produce, eating less meat, buying products made locally, biking as much as possible, reusing bags, reusing bottles, air- drying my hair...

Here's a link to a great blog dedicated to a love of nature. Great, funky recycling ideas. DIY projects. Art with heart and love of the earth. It's inspiring:
http://blog.designsquish.com/

The crest of an artist

2010-09-30T07:30:00.000-07:00

I remember the sensation of pure pride and joy while walking through the halls of John Abbott College, showing off my paint stained hands and clothing. What a badge of honour it was. I was an art student and I got the study the best thing in the world.

Now, 7 years later, my hands are once again covered (to a much lesser extent as I've learned to manage my mediums) with paint and the side of my hands stained with lead. I still feel that sense of pride. And to tell you the truth, I feel it in a much more spiritually fulfilling manner. I'm not proud because of the cool kids in my class or the reputation of the art students or the clique I'm associated with. I'm proud because I've reached a level in my life where I feel truly whole. I am doing what I'm good at and I'm lining myself up for a successful, fruitful, happy career and future. It feels so, so good.

The magical world of studying arts is no longer unattainable or a naive choice. I know myself now and I know what direction is right for me. And I've found something that compliments all facets of my education, interest and skills. Satisfaction!

First Impressions

2010-09-18T08:36:00.000-07:00

So, if you didn't know, faithful readers (Hello? Are you out there somewhere?), I started school up again! Yay!!! Graphic Design at InterDec College. Hence the lack of blog posts and my inability to watch the last 3 episodes of Big Brother. Team Lane!

I won't lie, my first impressions of the institution where I'm presently undertaking my diploma were.... well, pretty harsh. They definitely made me question the decision to take out two loans in order to finance this endeavour.

Out of the 5-6 people who I've dealt with within the Administration, half of them have mislead me, half of them seemed confused, and the majority have prominent lisps. Not to mention that they file documents (I'm talking serious documents here) in paper file folders which get passed around between seemingly incompetent individuals. Obviously I'm prejudice since I am of the generation of constant computer usage and a non-stop, hook up to some form of technology; nonetheless, having my precious documents just floating around in file folders, makes me rather nervous. Electronic signatures anyone? I'm also rather worried about them loosing my documents since a close friend who attended Lasalle warned me that the administration has a reputation of "misplacing" important forms...
I dealt with a man at financial aid who was pushy, condescending and who appeared full-on bothered to be answering my simple questions. According to him, the answers were very apparent and I was the one who should figure it out. I spent a couple of weeks tormented trying to figure out my loan situation, calling the government's (incredibly crappy) financial aid office and leaving phone messages for the jerk who help me (that were never answered).
All in all, I was a little worried right off the bat, my sense of cognitive dissonance was strong due to the cost of the schooling and I wanted to feel secure in my decision and have faith in the people who were tending this next step in my educational career.

I jumped the gun a little with the negativity, I hadn't yet started school after all!

Day one:
Ok, so Interdec College is connected to Lasalle College, which means fashion departments, marketing/administration departments, esthetics departments, food/service departments, and finally, the design departments. All in all, some serious cliques and some serious styles. Literally 40% of the school is rocking the highly trendy and disturbing "half shaved head". Judgmental looks all around. Double kisses going off left and right. Leggings, leggings, leggings, oversized salvation army sweaters, glasses without lenses, fake combat boots and many, many, many, gay boys. I was a little intimidated.

Classes throughout the first week were slow to start off. Alot of explaining, reading of outlines, discussing needed materials, going over cellphone usage rules. There are so many rules at this school! Almost felt like I was back in highschool,... well, a much more stylish highschool. You'd think that students who are paying such a high fee to attend the classes would actually act as if they want to be there. I quickly learned that there are several of my colleagues who just don't give a f____. Texting away, facebooking, not listening to explanations, not understanding simple directions, not knowing how to use a ruler (???? seriously people?!). And after all that, turning to me to find out the specifics of what needs to be done - ummm helllll no! Needless to say, I definitely stand out and I know, with confidence, that this is an opportunity for me to shine. There will be no timidity from me, thank you very much! I'm not going to hold back from answering every single question asked by the professor.

And so week one began, me sitting at the front of every class, chatting up the professors on breaks, answering all the questions directed to the class and basking in the positive after effects of my marketing degree: the knowledge, the marketing mindset, the terminology, the ability to multi-task, the ability to study/complete homework on time/still have time to relax, the ability to follow directions and read assignments before asking questions, all of which aided in my "star" status in classes. All in all, not to gloat (although, why not gloat? I have worked rather hard to get here), but I feel as though I am far ahead of a few of the other students.

Now on to the positives of InterDec, because I do feel rather thrilled about how these past two weeks have gone!

Firstly, the teachers:
Approachable, positive, happy to be teaching, professionals in their field, eager to give advice, encouraging of creativity/thinking outside the box/controversial artwork, eager for participators, welcoming of conversation with students. I truly feel as though I have a lot of learn from these people and hopefully, some valuable contacts to be made as well.

Secondly, the classes:
Creativity, Colour Theory, Design Rules, Page Layout 1, Maquettes and Mock-ups, Image Processing!
Although I may be a little ahead in the theory of some of these courses, I'm enjoying every step of the learning process. I don't want to miss a thing! Gotta get back to the basics. Feels incredible to sit down and draw for 4 hours and have that be my class. Pretty much my heaven.
A homework assignment I've been working on this week for my creativity class - Draw a Volkswagen Beetle with these 5 following personalities: Irreverence, Pain, Confused, Athletic, Bored, Pain.

Also exciting about the classes, throughout the 1st semester, the majority of our work is done on drafts tables. The Profs want us to feel inspired by our own creativity and brainstorming rather than by google search or the computer design programs. It's enlightening. It's made me realize just how much I turn to the internet for inspiration with projects.

All in all, it's starting to pick up and it's really starting to be fun, super fun in fact. I'm enjoying all aspects, even the most mundane (measuring, aligning, drawing boxes). And I can already feel my creativity flowing beyond my school projects, I've been taking pictures, drawing, coming up with ideas for art, coming up with ideas for my T.A.-ing.

I feel great!

Pa-Pa-Pa-Patterns

2010-08-20T06:16:00.000-07:00

I was reading Lake Jane.

A blog for the curious at heart, girly-girls, procrastinators, nail biters and eternal dreamers.

The most recent topic blogged about was the Dwell Patterns by Heath Ceramics. These vibrant, funky tiles would give life and rhythm to any space yet not overburden it. These are not like other tile patterns, these were a product of the design company Dwell which creates goods for the modern home. And truthfully, they've done a beautiful job with these tiles - they are futuristic yet as a whole, not angular (as you would naturally envision something futuristic to be). The design background of the creators is definitely apparent. The patterns allow the eye to meander within the grout and slates, finding different repetitions and rhythms. It's all very architectural, yet, somewhat natural. A tile collection that speaks to Gen Y - half of them on drugs, a large percentage fancying themselves artists, the vast majority wanting to break away from the confines of previous generations, all of them looking to make their mark and establish themselves as individuals.

Check out the full collection for a visual trip right here!

And if you want to kill some time, happily perusing or need to find a gift for a fellow Gen Y'er, check out the Dwell site.

Speaking of patterns.... and visual trips.

Check out The Limits of Control. A film by Jim Jarmusch who did Broken Flowers and Coffee and Cigarettes.

I saw this film maybe a year ago... and it still haunts me. The visuals swirl around in my head. Virtually every scene provides splashes of colour and patterned backdrops - a film set in contemporary Spain, so the vibrant setting is to be expected to a certain extent. This piece is truly a work of art not only due it's cinematography but also the riveting story-line and incredible acting. Listen, I'm no film critique, but I do know that this film was beautiful and different and it drew me in. Truly inspiring for someone interested in the arts, philosophy, and with a strange sense of humour.

The Calm Before the Storm

2010-08-17T08:02:00.000-07:00

School begins in exactly 3 weeks! So this is pretty much the lull before the big bang. And this also feels like pretty much, the end of my prehistory. The end of my prologue. After this, who knows. This next year will change everything! The next year will start my new chapter.

I cannot wait to be submersed in an intensive graphic design program with passionate artists surrounding my everyday! I feel so happy and assured. Definitely not the feelings I had when I initially made the decision to go back to school. A few weeks ago, the fear of being beyond broke (with a massive loan over my shoulders) greatly overshadowed the excitement. The truth is that this is an investment in my future, albeit, a very large one. But forget the money, this is the necessary step. This is what I gotta do to get where I wanna be! The professor I'm assisting's words are ringing in my head: "Go for the jugular, don't be passive, don't think about the money - just focus on putting yourself where you need to be, who do you want to be in 20 years?". She gives me lots to contemplate. And she's right, if you want to be somewhere, you have to envision it and just go for it.

So before I get into the craziness that is September, I've been taking advantage of working from home, streaming Big Brother, making trips to Atwater Market, hanging out with girlfriends and making delicious meals with my lova. Last night we had a dinner of gourmet cheese (Camenbert from Quebec and France, Brie, spicy Gouda, Quebec Goat, aged Cheddar - accompanied by blueberries, olives and grapes), fresh bread, yummy salad and some lemon dark chocolate to top it all off. DELECTABLE and mouth watering as I think of it now.

September will mean my second trip to the Gaspe (to celebrate my Dad's 58th and his retirement), the filming and editing of promotional videos for JMSB undergraduate courses with yours truly as the Art Director :), the start of my graphic design studies, some fall camping and a weekend of PodCamp.

I feel so satisfied and positive about my choice! Cheers to the beginning of the rest of my life...

Appalled at JMSB's Curriculum Committee

2010-08-06T08:21:00.000-07:00

I was recently informed by one of my former professors that the John Molson School of Business's curriculum committee has considered merging three highly influential and integral courses within the marketing curriculum into one course. These courses are Direct Response Marketing, Advertising and Integrated Marketing Communications. For anyone whose taken even one of these, you understanding the detriment and negative consequences of merging 28 weeks of in-depth learning and development of hard and soft coveted skills into 9 weeks of force-fed theory.

What is the curriculum committee thinking???

This is a major step down for the school as a whole and the students who will have to suffer because of it. As a recent graduate, I feel that I have a duty to voice my opinion and represent the students who will follow me. I urge any JMSB graduates who have been fortunate enough to benefit from either of these three courses to SPEAK UP! Let the curriculum committee know how incredibly dense they are being.

Here was what I wrote to my professor when he asked for former students' opinions on the matter:

What are your thoughts on the proposed discontinuation of Marketing 460 (IMC)?

As a recent graduate from JMSB in Marketing, I can say with confidence that IMC was the only class which truly prepared me for a career in marketing. The IMC course gives the students a realistic view of what completing a real marketing project entails. Furthermore, I am shocked that this course’s validity and importance are being questioned since the trends in marketing point entirely toward integration of communications. This is the only class that allows students to grasp this trend and its implications.

Another trend that this course allows students to become knowledgeable about is that of experiential marketing. In order for companies to stay at the forefront of marketing, they must move towards experiential. How can JMSB boast “real education for the real world” if they do not offer students a course which teaches them about the aspects which are most important when moving into a career in marketing?

Employers are looking for recruits that are aware of the changes in the industry and who will bring a forward-looking and innovation-focused mindset to the company. JMSB allows graduates to have that advantage over other recruits by offering IMC. Discontinuing the IMC course would hinder the students’ development, their future success and the school’s reputation as “a business school focused on the real world and the students’ success”. In fact, discontinuing IMC would completely negate JMSB’s interest in their students’ success and their focus on the “real world”.

What are your opinions about combining advertising, direct marketing and IMC into one course?

Merging these three courses would remove the opportunities that students studying marketing at JMSB have to gain coveted knowledge and skills for their future career. These courses and their material test and educate the students in ways that other marketing courses do not.

Merging these courses would overwhelm the students with information. All of the highly important details would get lost. Further, these courses allow students to learn of different specializations within marketing; a merge of the three courses would be completely un-real world. The students are not paying thousands of dollars for their education to have this information shoved into their brains in 9 weeks. The students want to benefit from the courses and want to learn everything that they can. They do not want “speed-learning” they want a “real education for the real world”!

Advertising and IMC allowed me to gain a realistic perspective on what creating a campaign actually entails. Because of these two courses, I gained insight into the marketing world that I would have otherwise no been privileged to. I have entered into the work force a more knowledgeable, prepared, aware, confident and skilled individual because of the advertising and IMC courses.

If the curriculum committee does decide to go ahead with this merge, they are outwardly stating that they care more about budget, more about bureaucratic disagreements and more about their own agenda than the STUDENTS’ WELL-BEING and EDUCATION. The curriculum committee should be ashamed of their ignorance. I worry about the future of the students’ that have yet to pass through JMSB since this curriculum review makes it apparent that their best interest is not being taken into consideration.

What do you believe will be lost or gained by these proposed changes?

If these changes are in fact instated, JMSB as a whole and the graduates will be less coveted and less reputable. The skills developed because of these 3 courses are without comparison. This curriculum change will nullify the entirety of the committee’s interest in the students’ futures.

Therefore, what will be lost:
- JMSB’s reputation as an institution that cares about their graduates’ success.
- JMSB’s reputation as an institution that offers “real education for the real world”.
- The students will loose the opportunity to study at an institution that is at the forefront of business education.
- The students will loose the opportunity to learn of specialization within marketing.
- The students will loose the opportunity to develop coveted soft skills such as: communication skills, self-confidence, ease in group settings, listening skills, learning how to be effective and valuable team members.
- The students will loose the opportunity to develop coveted hard skills such as: developing presentations, developing campaigns, developing their cv and cover letter.
- All around, the students’ diplomas will be less valuable.

What will be gained:
- JMSB will be seen as an institution that cares less about their students and more about their budget.
- JMSB will be seen as an institution that offers speed-learning rather than in depth education.
- JMSB will be seen as an institution that is not interested in the forward-looking trends within the marketing industry but as an institution that is comfortable offering an outdated education.
- JMSB will be seen as an institution that offers a “one size fits all” education, with no real specialization and no real-life experience.
- The students will learn that cramming for exams is better than taking the time to learn.
- The students will learn that an outdated, theory-focused education at JMSB is as costly as an education at other business schools that actually offer courses on specialization, real-world knowledge and a focus on the actual trends within the industry.

Is JMSB not supposed to be focused on a real education for the real world? Is JMSB not supposed to be focused on their students’ education and their graduates’ success? Does JMSB not want to be at the forefront of business educations? Does JMSB not care what their students think or want? Why, after all the up-roar from the professors and the students involved in these courses, would the curriculum committee even consider implementing this change?

I am extremely disappointed and hope that future JMSB students can benefit from the institution that I benefited from; an institution focused on the future and focused on what was best for me.

Erin Willett
B.Comm, Marketing

Oh life projects! How you bring me joy!

2010-07-18T20:18:00.000-07:00

Aug. 2, 2010 - I'm writing to you from the future!! Haven't blogged in a couple of weeks now, things have just been so busy! I'll write something soon that fills the cyber world in on my happenings from the last 2 weeks - there are many momentous ones that absolutely must be mentioned!

So here's a post I've had saved in my drafts since before I went to the Gaspe... oh ya, I went to the Gaspe :). Left on July 19th, a much needed week of tranquility, great food, laughs, family and time with Rox... But anyways, Blogger was testing my patience and not working with me properly so this post of projects is certainly not up to date. I honestly cannot wait to put down in writing all that's been happening. This blog has truly become a place for me to contemplate, solidify thoughts and find clarity. In moments of big change/decision making, I long to blog it out in order to figure it all out!

I was feeling inspired from the article I'd read about the little arcs and big arcs of life (view below), so I decided to track some of the recent "small arcs" I'd accomplished.

July 18th, 2010 - "I'm just about to watch the new True Blood episode, loading as we speak, so I don't have the time to fill in the details about said small arcs - so here are a few pictures! They speak for themselves..."

New fridge colour

Breakfast time

Verdun exploring by bike (I've yet to find a name for it)

The Mind Moves the World

2010-07-17T09:20:00.000-07:00

To design is to plan. Look around you. Where are you? What are you wearing? How do you feel? What are you looking at? What are you listening to? What are you doing? Whose plan is this? - David Barringer

Accomplishing the little arcs that are planned in order to get to the larger arc that define you and shape your life's path... Interesting.

Tiny pre-planned steps that lead to big moves!

Check out the full article. Rather inspirational for those stepping into the real world and needing a reality check when it comes to the job search and daily life "chores".

Adding colour

2010-07-13T12:03:00.000-07:00

I've been feeling spurts of lethargy these past couple of weeks. Did I mention that in my last post? I apologize for my faulty memory but days have been blending into themselves. In reality, I've been pretty busy for a young woman without a full-time job. I know that eventually, this jobless state will become a routine in itself but since I'm just starting off with the whole "unemployed" thing, my old routine is calling to me. My old routine laughs in the face of this new non-routine! I'm missing the 9-5, missing the course assignments, missing the group work.

To be frank, simply by typing out that last paragraph, I've annoyed myself. The annoyed part of me is thinking,
"Enjoy the freedom, discover your new path and grab life by the balls! This is the time to do it! So what if your a little broke - put a smile on and be happy, be adventurous, embrace the spontaneity!"

The other side of me, is fearful and wants the comfort and stability. And... honestly,... I doubt myself at times. I'm assuming that wispy remains of the pressure felt throughout my undergrad from colleagues and certain comrades are floating around within my thoughts and causing me to question my newly discovered sense of self, artistry and my "throw-caution-to-the-wind" attitude.

Again, my annoyed side, (my confident and gutsy and sure-fire, smart-mouthed, cocky side) is moaning in exasperation! "Boohoo! Quit being a debbie-downer... Put yourself out there - you got the talent!"

The truth is that being jobless has been rather inspiring. It was surprising at first to think that doing "not much" would encourage such a vivacity of imagination. However, my list of creative to-do's has been growing exponentially.

I've been embracing the little things that open my eyes to the creative around me. I've been biking more, reading blogs more, checking out people's art more, taking more pictures, reading more, DIY projects with Peter, conceptualizing my newly thought-out comic (or BD for the frenchies), thinking up other blogs.

Slowly but surely, my spurts of lethargy have been replaced by spurts of glowing and vibrant, love of/for creation.

The truth is, I'm realizing that being jobless is adding colour to my life. Allowing me to slow down and actually notice the colours - Allowing me the time to create more colourful writing and colourful art - Painting the fridge a funky colour and choosing colourful accessories for mine and Pete's bikes - Giving my skin colour while I enjoy the outdoors - Giving me time to cook more and create colourful dishes for loved one - Opening my eyes to the colours around me... in architecture, in scenery, in people's art, in shows I watch.

At the root of it all, being jobless is making me feel more vibrant and more alive. I don't feel as though I'm wasting time. I feel as though I'm gaining perspective and learning about myself. In the mean time, I'll enjoy all the beauty and colour and life and experiences and introspection that the free time is permitting me.

The Job-Search

2010-07-05T10:34:00.000-07:00

Week two of job-search 2010 has commenced!
May the Great Job land in my lap with little effort! (....suuuuuure)

Week one was actually rather productive considering the fact that I have been taking great advantage of some free-time, sleeping in, reading and streaming far too many online shows. But hey, I'm giving myself a little break and not stressing the small stuff. I may be searching for a while so I don't want to be self-deprecating. I deserve some good-for-the-soul time, and by gosh, I'm going to take it!

Accomplishments from week one include but are not limited to:
- Prettying up my C.V.
- Adding "Creative Assistant to Assoc. Marketing Prof. Michele Paulin" under my list of work experience.

That reminds me, forgot to mention that I got a position as a teacher's assistant for an inspiring, driven and at times frighteningly, hard-working associate marketing professor at JMSB. Yay me!! I've already jumped into assisting her in the innovation of course content, outline and pedagogy as well as the creation of dynamic promotional tools for her classes. I will be assisting a Marketing of Services class and a Business-to-Business Marketing class at the undergraduate level. I must say, I feel rather proud of myself! And, I owe this position entirely to the fact that I stuck my neck out in her class last semester and decided to stand out and make a name for myself in my final semester as an undergrad. (Much of my gusto last semester was encouraged by this blog, by the way.)

Back to my list of accomplishments from week one...
- Contacted a head hunter to aid in my search of a creative job!
- Applied to 4 positions. The most interesting of which were: Social Media Marketer and Graphic Design Blog Manager.

Oh and...
- I got a bike!

This last one is rather important to me, not just for the savings on transportation and also not because of the physical benefit of the work out.

Although it was great to relax a little last week and have few responsibilities, I found myself feeling extremely lathargic around Friday afternoon. I realised just how much I love routine and schedule. This bike means a set, daily or weekly, trek that's bon pour le morale, that keeps the endorphins flowing and that's all around positive for my mental (and creative) stimulation. A constant recharge for my mind and body.

I told myself last night that I would start week two off with some POSITIVITY! No wallowing on facebook about other peoples' day jobs and summer activities. I took an hour or so bike ride along the Lachine Canal path. I was sweaty, red, exhausted... and I felt so great! The wind from the canal and Fleetwood Mac in my ears, what an amazing way to start off the day.

The bike ride also reminded me of what had been so important while in Italy - observation, taking time for yourself, enjoying with all your senses... I stopped and drew for 5 mins along the way. I had forgotten last week how good that felt.

No, I haven't sent out another C.V. today, but I feel good. I feel positive and I accept that this might take awhile. Afterall, I'm not looking for a quick fix, I'm looking for the perfect niche!

Feels as though it's been years...

2010-06-26T08:15:00.001-07:00

A smidge over 2 months now since my last post. Not due to a slip of mind but due to a complete mental, physical and spiritual submersion into what I was doing (and that entailed disconnecting from the internet and technology). There were several moments however, while on my emotional and artistic and life-altering journey in Italy, that I thought " I'd love to blog this right now!". I wanted to freeze frame my experiences; encapsulate the scents, grasp the depth of the emotions and translate (to the best of my ability) the magnitude of energies floating around me. What a trip. Its effect on me will come in waves, I'm sure. The things that I've seen will be in the back of my mind for.... ever? I feel so moved, inspired, touched and connected to what I experienced that I don't think it will ever stop affecting me.

This trip has shaken my life up. It has twisted me around. I'm still spinning and dizzy from all of it... Where will I exit from this whirlwind and how will it shape the path I get sent onto?

A few pinnacles I have taken from this journey:

A certainty in my love of creation and capturing. A month of drawing from observation, taking pictures, re-creating sights-seen. A month of absorbing the breathtaking objects, views, people, places around me and putting them down on paper... with my own subtleties, my own sensitivity, my own passion and my own soul directing the pencil, has left me awestruck at the power of my eye, the skill I possess and the beauty of everything around me if I take the time to notice it.

I need to focus on me. Not by being egotistical and self-centered, but by being self-aware and realistic about my abilities. I need to embrace what I love and what I am good at and let go of the distractions that bring with them only negative sentiment. I spent too much time throughout my undergrad, focusing on the successes of others around me, on their talents and their paths and the expectations of society and the university. I felt jealous, pressured, stressed. My vision of myself and my future was blinded by my colleagues' and comrades' visions for themselves. I need to focus on myself, especially during this life-changing transition period, in order to be intuitive, focused, positive, forward-thinking and unique in my choice of path.

There's something bigger out there. I am by no means a religious person. I have realized, however, that I am very spiritual. I felt more in contact with myself, with the world, with the people around me than I've ever felt while in Italy. I felt smaller also, than I've ever felt. Smaller in the universe and smaller in the history of everything. I didn't realize how much of a bubble I was living in. My travels made me realize the beauty, magnificence, shear size and power of history, culture, religion and belongingness. Elements that were outside my bubble while living in Montreal only 2 months ago.

Prior to this trip: History was something that existed only in textbooks. Culture is diverse in Montreal, it is a mish-mash. I felt disconnected from it. Religion was a notion created by man to control the masses and impose. Finally, belonging.... I belong to my family and my small tree of relatives. I didn't feel as though there was a greater community that I belonged to.

In Italy, the history, culture and religion are intertwined throughout all members of society. These elements all supplement and superimpose eachother in a continuous growing spiral. A force that does not get questioned and simply is. The history, culture and religion is rooted in all and gives them a sense of belonging that I had never experienced before. The faith and brotherhood was astonishing and I was envious of it. No, I do not believe in a god, but when millions of people throughout centuries and milleniums have been brought together for a common goal and with common beliefs, I have to believe in something greater: The powers that unite us. Seeing how the Italians belonged made me realize how I belong, and how we all belong. The belonging as humans and as energies and as specs throughout the story of humanity, earth and the universe. This belonging is all-encompassing and is greater than can be fathomed. Feeling smaller than I'd ever felt made me feel more connected than I'd ever felt to everything around me. It gave me a sense that all that is around us has a purpose and is driven by a common force... whatever that force may be.

Truthfully though, the beauty of Italy alone was astonishing enough to make me believe in a higher power.

Love > Money. I know this one seems incredibly obvious. Haven't I been ranting this whole blog through about the fact that I want to do something I love? Yes. But I didn't really get it. Although I had some truly high points during my university career, creating, being imaginative, being a leader and especially during my Telus project as head of creation, there was always a sense of panic, fear of judgement and control from outside forces. In a sense, I was partly driven by negative forces.

While creating in Italy, there were several moments when I felt ENTIRELY connected to what I was doing: mind, body, soul, emotions, spirit, aspirations, all molded together and working as one unified force. I'd never felt that before. I was doing something that I loved and I was so, so happy. It allowed me to be carefree, confident, driven, positive. It allowed me to be ME. I was completely driven by positive forces.

I will always be tempted by my business side and I will always aspire to money. This is a part of me and a part of my "truth". I understand that fully and won't fight it. Italy though, has given me a new direction and a new purpose, one that is based on what I love and what makes me feel whole.

On June 3rd, I walked away from my final critique with my inspirational drawing teacher, Michele Delisle, 7 sketchbooks in arm. A wave of everything that I'd seen and done in the past month swept over me. Emotions high and PRIDE higher than ever. My drawings, not technically perfect, but perfect encapsulations of what the month meant to me and how the things I'd seen had touched me. What a great accomplishment and an incredible step. I will cherish this experience wholeheartedly. I know already that I will look back at this moment and think, "That experience was a turning point for me. It changed my life".

Last Tuesday, I graduated with a Bachelor of Commerce from the John Molson School of Business. My loving family and boyfriend beside me, my sense of belonging high. A great accomplishment and an incredible step. An accomplishment I am truly proud of. I have not taken the path that other John Molson graduates have... but I am confident, more so now than ever, that this is the right path for me; One based on education, passion, art and soul.

My sister accomplishments: my drawing experience in Italy and my bachelor in Commerce. Complimenting one another and major steps in forging the future me.

So near the end...

2010-04-18T14:04:00.000-07:00

Haven't made an entry in over two weeks now. But haven't forgotten about my blog and I'm still intent on tracking my progress. There's much to track!

Everything is coming to an end around me and I'm forced to keep on trucking to finish at a level that satisfies my want to stand out during my final semester of undergrad. I'm exhausted but I want to finish this off with shining colours! I want this semester to be the one that changes everything and opens doors. I'm feeling good about it and proud of myself right now.

I set out in January, ready to make my mark and establish myself in a lasting way within JMSB. I want to leave a ripple of me resonating throughout the school once I'm done. I want to be recognized for my hard work. Only now do I finally have the confidence to back up my work and accept the recognition. It feels great to have stood out and represented myself and let go of the self-deprecation and comparison to others. I feel confident entering into the "real world" with a solid foundation and wide variety of coveted hard and soft skills.

This final project is taking up more time, more mental, physical and emotional energy and more drive than I've ever given, or been able to give, to anything in my life. I am completely absorbed by it. And not because I have to be, because I want to do this in the best way possible. My team will deliver on Tuesday and blow those judges away. I can't help but think about the possibility of a win....

I'm eager to let this chunk of my life go and move on to the next big step: the move with Peter. I've been so involved in this project and Italy that I don't feel I've given him the enthusiasm, support and excitement that he deserves. For the time being, however, I have to put those future thoughts aside and focus on the now - focus on the project and focus on bringing it to its highest level of potential... Once that's accomplished - I will be all about the move, my Peter, and the home we will create.

Let's daydream of my return in June for a quick minute before getting back to reality and work work work:
What if we win? What if I get home and this campaign is actually implemented? What if my designs are used??? Beyond the project though, I will be in a blissful artistic state on my return from a month as an artist in Italy... coming back to a loving home with Peter and the kitten friends.... free from my current job and ready for the unknown... ready for the heat, excitement and vibrancy of Montreal in the summer.... celebrating with friends... attending my university graduation.... wooooowwwwwwww...... the sun is shining and I couldn't be more excited for what lies ahead.

Beautifully morbid, morbidly beautiful

2010-03-31T12:53:00.000-07:00

Several big bits of negative news are floating around me today. Nothing specifically affecting me, but nonetheless affecting my psyche.

I have a morbid outlook on the world right now, a beautifully morbid outlook. Others' misfortunes force me to consider the possibility of being in their position. In these moments, I contemplate my life as though I'm watching a black and white flash-forward of what-ifs. It's heavy, elegant, daunting. Perfect mascara stains and lace headwear at my funeral, the crushing blow as I find out a family member has been in a car crash and fall the ground gasping.... I know it's incredibly self-centered and disturbing. The end result is always that I appreciate those around me so much more.

Sometimes I like to go to that dark place in my mind, allow myself to taste the sadness and wallow in the feeling of loss. It's comforting and it reminds me to be grateful. It's morbid of me, yes. But it's beautiful.

It's reminiscent of the feeling I used to get when watching The Secret Garden as a child. Less than the images, I remember the emotions. The intense loss and the slow liberation of healing. I especially remember the sense of freedom during the fast-forward sequence of the coming of spring - incredibly gratifying. These are the feelings I get when those around me face real sadness, loss. I absorb it, get the tiniest sense of the devastation and then I latch onto the freedom and release of realizing that it hasn't happened to me - I am still alive and happy and surrounded by love.

Client rage... and a little self-encouragement!

2010-03-26T16:40:00.001-07:00

Just because I happen to still be a student, does not mean that I don't have experience or a brain. I have skills and they are valuable. I feel confident in my ability to put a monetary amount to those skills. Does it really offend you that that amount happens to be higher than you expected? I'm sorry that you wanted cheap labour, but my work is solid - I'm not going to do the job for peanuts. There's no need for you to give me life advice or belittle me - I am not naive. And to be honest, my status as a marketing student probably benefits you - I have artistic skills with a marketing background. Isn't that a step above? Especially when delivering communication creatives?

I realize that I need to work for less in order to build up my experience but I don't want to enter this business by lowering my prices simply to please cheap clients; particularly considering my packed schedule and lack of time for work.
I'm facing the reality that I might just have to work for less once I get back from Italy and have no job - but the bottom line is, my work is good and it should be priced as such. It'll be much easier then, though. I'll have no school work, no job (for a short time) and I'll be doing something I'm passionate about - I could deal with less cash.
I do feel unsure and a little shakey but this is where it begins, I have to reinforce the confidence and stand behind my abilities. Therefore, my work=$$$. Otherwise, I'll be just another struggling artist with no self-confidence and making no money.

40 days and 40 nights until...

2010-03-26T15:59:00.000-07:00

My Italian adventure begins!!!
Days filled with homemade colaziones and cenas, visitas, italiano classes and disegno disegno disegno! I want to submerse myself into my drawing and soak it all up - see everything as an artist with an open mind, have little inhibition and a strong sense of self. I want to start seeing the world as I used to see it during my first year in fine arts at John Abbott College; as lines and shades and curves and colours and depth. I'm going to make a pact with myself to document all of it - remember all the names and places and be able to put digital and drawn images to them.

Here's a list of the predetermined drawing/lesson/visit/touring spots!
Roma
Acquapendente
Bolsena
Cortona, Tuscany
Piazza Del Duomo
Orvieto
Uffizzi
Firenze

This trip signifies a major change for me: the finishing of my degree in Marketing from John Molson School of Business and the end of my time spent working in an office as an administrator (...yawn...); More importantly, it represents the beginning: the beginning of embracing my artistic side and doing so with a business mind, the beginning of marketing my skills and valuing my true talents, the beginning of embracing who I want to be and striving towards it, the beginning of my life post undergrad.... and the beginning of who knows what else. Hopefully, the beginning of a completely new mindset - one of individuality, passion, precision, self-confidence, skill development, ambitiousness (not to say that I haven't shown ambitiousness) but this is the start of my passionate ambition, driven by my abilities, intelligence, sense of self and broadened knowledge.

The Importance of the Online Profile

2010-03-19T21:10:00.000-07:00

In this day and age, when so many of our perceptions and judgments are based on ones' viral activity, a large part of our identities are created through our presence online. People judge us based on our online activity, employers do or do not hire us based on our online activity and our online activity can make or break a potential relationship based on that initial acceptance of friendship and the lurking that ensues shortly afterward. What does my online presence say about me?
What does this blog say about me?
I realize that I created it and am following through on it for selfish reasons, to track my progression and hopefully force myself into a forward momentum as far as my career is concerned; Nonetheless, I'm writing it for the masses. The point is to stand out and have a voice among every other 24 yr old blogger trying to find their way. The few followers that I have and the few that happen upon my blog gain insight into my life in these short snippets - same goes for the farce that is my facebook page and my newly created linkedin page. (I realize that in the short amount of time that I've had this blog, others' perceptions of me have been a topic on two occasions, but I care about what people think of me and I'm not ashamed of that. Human interactions are what life's all about and therefore, I contemplate this stuff).
I want people to perceive me for what I am. It's so easy for people to create preconceived notions of you. In fact, it's human nature, but I want to shape those perceptions to the best of my ability. Can we really depict who we are through a viral medium? Maybe that's what this day's communication is all about.
I'm hoping that someone out there - some random who's destined to enter into my life - will stumble upon one of my online profiles and think, "I understand this girl, I get this girl, she's real and I want to give her an opportunity". I know it sounds ridiculous; However, with so much of our lives online and so much effort put into creating these accurate online depictions/snapshots of who we are fundamentally, isn't our goal to have someone connect with us and "feel" us and to inevitably gain from that connection? Don't we all want someone to say, "I think you're great and I want to help you on you career path." Okay, maybe not all of us want that... But, I do! Over here, world!! Look at me, surf my pages, see my potential!

Celebrating! (So much)

2010-03-17T08:54:00.001-07:00

Ahhhhhh, now that the vent is out of my system, here are the wonderful things happening in my life (get ready for it, this will probably end up an extremely mushy and sentimental post):

Today, I'm celebrating my 1 year anniversary with my most amazing, intelligent and supportive boyfriend, Peter! My last year has been so exciting, greatly because of him, and our next will bring more of the same.

March 17th, 2009 - first date. He was a trooper and met about 30 of my drunken friends. I was so shy and intrigued by him. I was hooked from that point on.

We're also celebrating the generosity of his parents because they're sending him to meet me in Rome in June! YAY and THANK YOU, Eric and Kate! What an amazing way to finish off our degrees, enjoy the beginning of the summer and enjoy eachother. We will travel to the south of France where Peter's Grandmother lives and then to Paris to see his uncle, then back to Montreal.

And upon our arrival back home, we will officially be moving in together! We found ourselves a lovely 3.5 in Verdun... A perfect place to settle down for a year or so until we move to Vancouver.

Close to the metro, great kitchen and bathroom (with a huge skylight), washer/dryer outlet, sunny, two balconies, close to grocery store (with president's choice products), close to canal. And, as you can see, a tree that hangs right over our front balcony. Very excited!

Beyond Peter things, my semester (as exhausting as it's been) is really coming together. Feeling like a graduate and feeling like I'm standing out in classes - all around, really feeling good! My IMC project/competition team is a well-oiled machine and we're getting through our piles and piles of research and finally on the brink of bringing together our creative execution!

Alas, graduation is pending. I have mixed feelings about this one - but I'm damn proud, so it's a celebration nonetheless.

Finally, as much as it's daunting that I'll be jobless upon my return from Europe, I'm really trying to take it as a positive. No fear! I will be great and I will get an amazing job! (My mantra.... repeat, repeat, repeat).

Venting - It was bound to happen...

2010-03-17T08:23:00.000-07:00

Some venting to do today and also some celebrating; Seems to be a lot to celebrate and less to vent about these days, so I’ll get the latter out of the way first. I anticipated having a rocky start to my start-up design company... so this is to be expected. Here it goes.

Amidst the most hectic of all my undergrad semesters - school work, presentations, group meetings, actual work, time with boyfriend, social life, sleep (the little that I do get) and so on - I’ve taken on a few design jobs in order to stretch my legs and test my skills! I entered into them feeling confident in my abilities and confident in my grasp of my clients’ wants. I’ve gotten a few reality checks, though.

Firstly, I’m working on an ad for an industrial distributor of packaging products for farmers. I met with him and spoke with him several times about the layout and elements he wanted me to include in the ad. The last I hear from him, he says that he’d like me to have it completed before I leave for Italy at the beginning of May. – Eeek! Brow sweat! A lot of pressure, considering everything else I have to do, but I can handle it. So, I write him to tell him what I’ll be charging and all of a sudden he’s gonzo - can’t get in touch with him. A tad frustrating considering I’ve already spent time on this and the looming deadline, but I guess I’ll wait it out.

Secondly, and more annoyingly, I’m creating a logo for a student association at my university. The president approached me and said he needed it within a week. We sat a spoke of elements he’d like me to include. He mentioned a few things but for the most part, he gave me little insight. I proposed ideas, to which he seemed enthusiastic and responsive! Good start, or so it seemed. I buckled down (again, amongst all my other work) and completed 10 variations of logos from which the association could choose one or parts of them that they wanted me to rework for the final version. I send them out, by my deadline, eager to hear the executive input.

I get one email back from the VP of external affairs saying she didn’t think they even needed a logo and that she thought the ones I’d sent looked like Balls. What am I supposed to do with that information?? Balls?? Really? Apparently, the president had approached me too soon, and there were internal conflicts which needed to be resolved prior to moving forward. Why the VP External felt the need to air these conflicts out to a third party hired to do a job for them? I don't know. What do you think of them? Ballish? Hah. I'll admit a few of them do have a phallic/testicular quality to them! And, I'll laugh that off.

Now, he wants me to create a second, entirely new round of logos from which the association will choose. My time is not free, people! I told him that I’d charge him for the work I’d already done if he wanted me to start over since according to him, there was nothing from my first round that they could work with. I feel snubbed and my ego is a little crushed – but that’s the name of the game. I gotta toughen up and realize that it’s impossible to please an entire board of executives - especially pompous student execs. Now, the tough part will be getting paid for something they didn’t use…

Official! BOOM!

2010-03-08T15:13:00.000-08:00

Another thing to add to my countdown... officially leaving my present position as co-head administrator of B & G Realties in May when I depart for ITALY!
So,.. explosion it is!! I'm ready for the excitement and fear and adventure of the new!
What will this next job bring? What doors will be opened? What skills will I learn?
I should jump on the job-searching/interviewing process asap. Can I really fit another task into my schedule?? As much as I feel the need to have something lined up for my return in June, I know this trip will change my mentality completely. Maybe the job I'd go for now will be a 180 from what I'll want in June.
Oh right, forgot to mention, I officially registered my design business! Erin Willett Designs. Oh yes... feels so good!
So, if the fates are with me, maybe I won't need to line up a job. Maybe, just maybe, I can use my last 10 months in Montreal to explore my entrepreneur and designer sides. And, I'll have a degree in marketing, so I should technically have all the skills needed to market myself effectively. It'll be tough. But, as mentioned, the explosion is suppose to entail grabbing my life by the balls! Why not step out and allow myself to rock the shit out of my first year as a small business owner? After all, this is supposed to be my lucky year! Shine on me, Fates!

People watching and the mental travels that ensue

2010-03-02T13:03:00.000-08:00

People watching. I could not get more lost in, or be more gratified by, people watching. I could spend hours soaking up the emotions, outfits, swaggers, hairstyles, sourpuss faces. I spend (as does everybody) so much time completely absorbed by myself and the happenings around me. It blows my mind to sit and watch people and attempt to fathom the size of the universe that is their life. They walk by me and for a split second, I am a part of it all... and, they are gone. However, I'm left with their sense, their being - maybe their aura. I often feel haunted by my people watching stints - not in a horror-movie sort of way, but in a "touched-by-their-presence" sort of way. I feel inspired either by peoples' individualities or by their lack there of. I want to soak up the uniqueness and creativity that goes into putting oneself together - creating the package that is seen as "you" by the other passerbys. I feel inspired to be more of myself and to be less like the norm. I feel inspired by the longing to stand out and leave my presence behind when walking by a fellow people watcher. What impression do I leave with them? What impression do I want to leave?

In essence, the people watching, allows me a brief delve into a universe unlike my own, infact completely different from my own. I take from that universe what I can during our rapid encounter, based on my perceptions and judgments and mood and I submerge back into my universe, slightly altered - with my mind and eyes more open and my awareness of self more acute.

Making moves and feeling good

2010-02-23T16:10:00.001-08:00

Ahhhh, the stress, fear of failure, self-worth and satisfaction that come along with jumping into something new... I won't lie, I definitely had to build up the guts and convince myself of the degree of my talents before taking some serious steps, towards my career.

I'm surrounded by students who haven't yet put themselves into a category with "the adults in the real world". It's highly intimidating to suddenly have to view something you do as a passion, as a possible career. And even more intimidating to do things that put your neck on the line and skills on display. I guess that's jumping into the real world.

But I got no shit to bitch about right now, only money to make!

So, I'm registering my business: Erin Willett Designs. Starting an online portfolio of my work (should have done this a long, long time ago). Getting contracts! Making some $$$! Hells to the yes. Seems as though I might have what it takes to make something real out of this.

Luckily for me, the contracts are falling into my lap. The majority of the people I've been around in the past 4 years are business students... Business students turn into business people... Business people need creatives for marketing... And I'm especially lucky that my JMSB colleagues are all go-getters with fires under their asses and their heads in the clouds, because they all fancy themselves entrepreneurs. They need to make their companies known on a tight budget - enter, me. The best part, they all expect to pay me; they're all in it for the money and they understand that no one works for free.

I look at my counterparts in the visual arts department, living a life I could have been involved in had I chosen my second option 4 years ago. All attempting to enter into the art or design world with an art background; All of them struggling. They don't have the business background I now have, and they don't live with the notion that no one works for free because they view art passionately rather than as a comunication devise. (Don't get my wrong, I am PASSIONATE about art, but I want the MONEY!). They are far more passive when it comes to making the bucks from their contracts; maybe because they see them as an extension of their school projects.

Hum... look at that, I think I have a leg up. Yay me for realizing my worth in monetary amounts and understanding the value of my skills to potential clients. Yay to a business degree and yay to a marketing mind.

Oh how far I've come, how far I'll go...

2010-02-16T14:49:00.001-08:00

Shown below is a self-portrait I created based on James Tissot's October (above). It was intended to represent my transition into womanhood... The beginning of my journey into the forest of pulpous vagina leaves. Delving into my sexuality was liberating. Funny how, a year and half after the completion of the drawing, I sense the change in myself and can now call myself a woman, unabashedly. I've traveled deep into the forest...

The Power of the Haptic

2010-02-14T08:37:00.000-08:00

I've had the opportunity, much more so during cegep than now, to observe the mental torment students would go through when drawing a Haptic. I think it's especially difficult for students who aren't necessarily great artists yet fancy themselves rather skilled. A huge mental leap is required in order to trust one's hand eye coordination and the power of the right brain when understanding shapes, objects and negative space. You have to let go of your want to be better, your competitive side, your control and the power you exert over your pencil. I've watched many drawers have an extremely difficult time jumping into the haptic, letting go and allowing it to carry them to the unknown. The pencil glides over the page, knowing and aware. The power of the haptic is exposed only when the final product is revealed and the drawer observes the work created not by their control but by their leap of faith. It's liberating to step out of your comfort zone. And then you realize, more powerful than your control over the pencil is the guidance of the eye... The haptic makes you feel the object being drawn rather than see it. The haptic takes your drawing to the next level and shows you how truly capable you are as a drawer.

Lulls and Explosions

2010-01-26T13:49:00.000-08:00

It’s such a strange feeling to itch for pending adventure and freedom while moving at a snail’s pace through my daily work-related affairs.

It seems as though bits of this year will be in fast-forward while the days, weeks or months leading up to those next bits seem so tedious and laborious.

As I’m just getting into the year, my pre-conceived notions of it seem to narrow down events to lulls and explosions. In reality, it will all zoom by and it will all be crucial.

However, certain elements are definitely taking precedence: school and art related elements are always in the forefront of my mind.

I’m finding it incredibly difficult to remain dedicated to work (a job I’ve been at for almost 3 years now). I always thought of this job as temporary and as a side-gig to my bachelors degree. Now, the time has come to make a decision about my next career move. Stay with my present job until I leave for Vancouver? Or risk it and get something new (more stimulating, invigorating, motivating, more career oriented) for only 6-7 months before moving across the country? A lull or an explosion?

Is my apprehension about leaving my job caused by rational thinking (it makes sense to stay here since I’ll be leaving shortly) or fear of something new (putting myself and my design skills out there for the world to see and judge)? I’m hoping the latter will be proven false. I never fancied myself a pussy; but then again, I never fancied myself a very rational thinker.

Wearing my purple stone for good luck

2010-01-21T06:18:00.000-08:00

Wow, is it really 2010?

Did I just turn 24?????
When did I become an adult? This blog was started in anticipation of my 24th year, the year of enlightenment (not my first encounter with enlightenment and not my last). This year has a lot to live up to. For some reason, I’ve been drawn to 24 and looking forward to it for a long time. We will see what it brings… It’s already started off with a bang.
Was I selected to be a part of a marketing competition?
RECOGNITION!
3 Months of intensity ahead?
Check.
Italy in…103 days???
I haven’t even wrapped my mind around it but whenever I allow myself to wander towards thoughts of my glorious adventure ahead, the ignition gets lit and my brain starts to rumble and I race through the thoughts before getting pulled back to reality – just before the having my mindblown! It is mindblowing!! Don’t want to completely loose my sanity due to excitement. I need my feet on the ground. After all, there are too many things that require my immediate attention!
Graduation in 5 months?
I can’t even begin to explain the emotions this brings up. It’s time to be done, I want to finally give birth to this degree! But I sense the postpartum looming.

And. And. And. And……. So many things happening.
This will be the quickest year of my life and one of movement. My Chinese year and therefore, my lucky year. It’s time to move and take advantage of my pending freedom from JMSB. I’ll allow myself to jump to the thought for the purpose of this blog, but I do this seldom (as mentioned – too much to focus on right now) so I have to soak it in when I do daydream about it, ok, here it goes,…. VANCOUVER IN A YEAR (with the only person that I’ve ever wanted to share this type of adventure with)

Wow and wow.

Obviously my mind is all over the place and my days are flying by.
I’ve officially jumped in.
This is not a time to sit back, be discreet or blend in. This is my YEAR!

Daydreaming

2009-11-03T18:58:00.000-08:00

Well, I guess my weekly list of to-do’s is shot to hell. Turns out that the steps I will take and the adventure I’ve embarked on by exploring my artistic facets cannot be broken down into weekly segments; I was a tad eager for movement and change in myself to assume that they could…. It is a constant voyage: lulls, speed-ups, side tracks, short cuts, nap-times, snack breaks, discoveries...

Throughout the past 5 weeks, I attempted on a several occasions to blog it up and put down solidly and wholeheartedly, what it was that I was going through and the feelings that I encountered.

Much, much, harder than anticipated! My thoughts (that I created this blog to sift through and make sense of) have been overlapping, endless, indecipherable, unpredictable; attempting to put them into understandable sentences is impossible until they allow me to sort them.

I struggled when contemplating my degree in Marketing and my fading enthusiasm for a career that would inevitably leave me bruised, sour and jaded. I realize this is a negative point of view of the marketing industry, but I’m losing my luster for it and I see clearly how the people in the industry, constant pressure and high levels of competition would affect me. I’m coming to terms with the fact that my drive to be the “bitch in the business suit” is slowly losing speed…. An alternative is taking hold of me. One that many Professors and a certain institution (cough cough JMSB) may frown upon. Forget the executive position, endless piles of paper work and constant schmoozing; they will not satisfy me or allow me to grow creatively. I just want… happiness. Happiness through creation!
Melding my want, nay, need, to create with a career that envelopes the elements of marketing that I truly do love: the people, the understanding of the psychology of people, pleasing your client, creating based on consumer demand = the perfect job.
My digital arts course has definitely played a huge role this semester, in steering me towards: Creation… Art…. Images….. Colours…. Lines…. Design!

Graphic artist, perhaps?

I wrote an old friend who is the founder, designer & art director of his own graphic design firm, Zerflin (http://zerflin.com/). He gave me several points to follow when embarking on a career as a graphic artist.
One that seriously stuck with me is #10:
Be brave. In everything you do, take risks, and try new things. Regularity stifles creativity.
Hence, my push to leave my comfort zone in an educational context and social context. Infact, this push to remove myself from my comfort zone has led to two major, MAJOR factors in my career search and on my path!
I feel exhilarated! NEW! My being around creative people has lead to a far more creative me… I’m seeing things in a new light... and constantly lost in dreams of the future.

Chapter 1: Step 1

2009-09-16T14:48:00.000-07:00

I’m feeling good right now and, funnily enough, this blog has contributed. Organizing my thoughts, listing out my issues, strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, threats,... (SWOT for all Marketers)… Makes me realize how things actually are. That is, from an outside point of view, rather than my own critical angle. This week, I’m more aware of my strengths than I was last week.

I had to face several issues head-on this weekend. And I must say, the conflict was liberating. Unbeknownst to me at the time, facing these issues reinstated my belief in self. I have great instincts; they should be granted more decision-making power. I won’t neglect them again. I vow, wholehearted instinct following in future endeavors.

Although the issues I dealt with had little to do with my education or my future career, having my instincts and what I know questioned and proven correct, truly restored my sense of confidence. This weekend I realized, I know what I’m doing.

As if by fate, the direction I was searching for delivered itself in the form of a few confrontations in which, whether victor or not, I came out stronger on the inside.
Faith in self. I’m realizing more and more that although I initially search for support from family and friends, I should take a breather and remember who I am and what I have to offer.

As I mentioned in the Prelude, my first week of school dealt me some blows. Many of which had to be dealt in order for me to realize where I stand and what steps to take next. I’ve felt deflated by my marketing peers who seem so directed and aware of what path they intend to follow as I am unsure and my path will most likely be unconventional. This has caused me some shame unfortunately. I’m ashamed to admit my shame as I am a true advocate of individuality and self-expression. You would think that I would embrace my differences, thrive from them and encourage their development. However, thank the higher power for my weekend disputes and the emotional stability they granted me. As unconventional as my path may be, it will be mine.

The decisions I make are the right ones for me, I feel solidified in that fact now.

In an effort to prove to myself that I am growing as an individual and taking concrete steps towards my goals (numerated in Prelude), I will attempt a weekly listing of my cultivating activities...

Week 1 STEPS (Let the marketing group work, artistic endeavors and exploration begin):

- Debate style Food Marketing presentation preparation
- Consider and add qualifications/added value/artistic assets to CV
- Self-portrait on photoshop (Erin as a Tree, Being of Growth)
- Photos of landscape and bedroom for Studio Art Class (Photographic evidence to follow)
- Singing class! Belt it out! VOCALIZE!
- Critical analysis, evaluation and contemplation of case for Strategic Marketing Planning
- Personalized greeting cards to celebrate my loved ones' achievements, birthdays and a special anniversary (Many reasons to celebrate this week!)
- Explore ways to gain insight into my sixth sense. I'm not crazy people, I have had several concrete ESP moments this week...

Cheers to me being me and you being you.

Prelude

2009-09-10T17:57:00.000-07:00

I never thought of myself as much of a blogger but I guess that's because, I never had reason to be a blogger.

These days, I have some soul-searching to do. I have a career path to find. Great expectations from a simple blog, but I feel a need to explore myself and document my duel efforts of career-searching and soul-searching. I want to make sense of my final year of university and the struggles I face while pursuing an education in marketing and a passion for the arts.

Unfortunately, my ego has suffered a few blows being that I’m an artsy and unabashedly emotional student headed towards a cut-throat and criticism-filled industry. The constant pressure from peers, teachers and the university as a whole paired with my sensitivity has gotten the better of me these days; I’m left questioning whether or not the marketing industry is the one for me or more importantly, whether I am for the marketing industry.

Let me bring you back to the fall of 2006: I was nervous, excited and envisioning a future as a tough bitch in a business suit. I quickly realized, to my dismay, that I hated all of my classes and struggled with the option I had to transfer over into fine arts. The critical decision I made to remain in business school rather than pursue my passion in visual arts has evidently altered my educational career but more so, who I am at the core. I left my artistic self behind and moved on to what I naively convinced myself were bigger and better things. Having spent three years competing, analyzing, controlling, cramming and networking, I hoped that the beginning of my final year would find me eager for the real world and passionate about the art of marketing. As is my style, I have thought and over-thought every aspect of this time in my life and what is to come. I am incredibly saddened to write that my over-analyzing has led me to numerous non-conclusions, many of which carry negative connotations for me. My future unnerves me, my education in marketing worries me, my need for more art torments me. Now, here I am: confused, uneasy, lacking in self-confidence, wanting skills I don’t have, wanting a sign that indicates that my future will work out! Most importantly though, here I am, wanting to interweave and synergize what I’ve studied, what I know and what I love.

I am on a mission this year: 1) reinforce self-confidence, 2) encourage and embrace my artistic side, 3) pursue the opportunities that marketing offers me and 4) find my path...
Find my path… Seems daunting and unrealistic at the tender age of 23.
But hey, I’m not asking for my dream job to pop out of thin air and my career to be laid out in front of me; I just need some reassurance that I’m headed the right way, whichever way that may be.