Prelude

I never thought of myself as much of a blogger but I guess that's because, I never had reason to be a blogger.

These days, I have some soul-searching to do. I have a career path to find. Great expectations from a simple blog, but I feel a need to explore myself and document my duel efforts of career-searching and soul-searching. I want to make sense of my final year of university and the struggles I face while pursuing an education in marketing and a passion for the arts.

Unfortunately, my ego has suffered a few blows being that I’m an artsy and unabashedly emotional student headed towards a cut-throat and criticism-filled industry. The constant pressure from peers, teachers and the university as a whole paired with my sensitivity has gotten the better of me these days; I’m left questioning whether or not the marketing industry is the one for me or more importantly, whether I am for the marketing industry.

Let me bring you back to the fall of 2006: I was nervous, excited and envisioning a future as a tough bitch in a business suit. I quickly realized, to my dismay, that I hated all of my classes and struggled with the option I had to transfer over into fine arts. The critical decision I made to remain in business school rather than pursue my passion in visual arts has evidently altered my educational career but more so, who I am at the core. I left my artistic self behind and moved on to what I naively convinced myself were bigger and better things. Having spent three years competing, analyzing, controlling, cramming and networking, I hoped that the beginning of my final year would find me eager for the real world and passionate about the art of marketing. As is my style, I have thought and over-thought every aspect of this time in my life and what is to come. I am incredibly saddened to write that my over-analyzing has led me to numerous non-conclusions, many of which carry negative connotations for me. My future unnerves me, my education in marketing worries me, my need for more art torments me. Now, here I am: confused, uneasy, lacking in self-confidence, wanting skills I don’t have, wanting a sign that indicates that my future will work out! Most importantly though, here I am, wanting to interweave and synergize what I’ve studied, what I know and what I love.

I am on a mission this year: 1) reinforce self-confidence, 2) encourage and embrace my artistic side, 3) pursue the opportunities that marketing offers me and 4) find my path...
Find my path… Seems daunting and unrealistic at the tender age of 23.
But hey, I’m not asking for my dream job to pop out of thin air and my career to be laid out in front of me; I just need some reassurance that I’m headed the right way, whichever way that may be.