Adding colour

I've been feeling spurts of lethargy these past couple of weeks. Did I mention that in my last post? I apologize for my faulty memory but days have been blending into themselves. In reality, I've been pretty busy for a young woman without a full-time job. I know that eventually, this jobless state will become a routine in itself but since I'm just starting off with the whole "unemployed" thing, my old routine is calling to me. My old routine laughs in the face of this new non-routine! I'm missing the 9-5, missing the course assignments, missing the group work.

To be frank, simply by typing out that last paragraph, I've annoyed myself. The annoyed part of me is thinking,
"Enjoy the freedom, discover your new path and grab life by the balls! This is the time to do it! So what if your a little broke - put a smile on and be happy, be adventurous, embrace the spontaneity!"

The other side of me, is fearful and wants the comfort and stability. And... honestly,... I doubt myself at times. I'm assuming that wispy remains of the pressure felt throughout my undergrad from colleagues and certain comrades are floating around within my thoughts and causing me to question my newly discovered sense of self, artistry and my "throw-caution-to-the-wind" attitude.

Again, my annoyed side, (my confident and gutsy and sure-fire, smart-mouthed, cocky side) is moaning in exasperation! "Boohoo! Quit being a debbie-downer... Put yourself out there - you got the talent!"

The truth is that being jobless has been rather inspiring. It was surprising at first to think that doing "not much" would encourage such a vivacity of imagination. However, my list of creative to-do's has been growing exponentially.

I've been embracing the little things that open my eyes to the creative around me. I've been biking more, reading blogs more, checking out people's art more, taking more pictures, reading more, DIY projects with Peter, conceptualizing my newly thought-out comic (or BD for the frenchies), thinking up other blogs.

Slowly but surely, my spurts of lethargy have been replaced by spurts of glowing and vibrant, love of/for creation.

The truth is, I'm realizing that being jobless is adding colour to my life. Allowing me to slow down and actually notice the colours - Allowing me the time to create more colourful writing and colourful art - Painting the fridge a funky colour and choosing colourful accessories for mine and Pete's bikes - Giving my skin colour while I enjoy the outdoors - Giving me time to cook more and create colourful dishes for loved one - Opening my eyes to the colours around me... in architecture, in scenery, in people's art, in shows I watch.

At the root of it all, being jobless is making me feel more vibrant and more alive. I don't feel as though I'm wasting time. I feel as though I'm gaining perspective and learning about myself. In the mean time, I'll enjoy all the beauty and colour and life and experiences and introspection that the free time is permitting me.

Making moves and feeling good

Ahhhh, the stress, fear of failure, self-worth and satisfaction that come along with jumping into something new... I won't lie, I definitely had to build up the guts and convince myself of the degree of my talents before taking some serious steps, towards my career.

I'm surrounded by students who haven't yet put themselves into a category with "the adults in the real world". It's highly intimidating to suddenly have to view something you do as a passion, as a possible career. And even more intimidating to do things that put your neck on the line and skills on display. I guess that's jumping into the real world.

But I got no shit to bitch about right now, only money to make!

So, I'm registering my business: Erin Willett Designs. Starting an online portfolio of my work (should have done this a long, long time ago). Getting contracts! Making some $$$! Hells to the yes. Seems as though I might have what it takes to make something real out of this.

Luckily for me, the contracts are falling into my lap. The majority of the people I've been around in the past 4 years are business students... Business students turn into business people... Business people need creatives for marketing... And I'm especially lucky that my JMSB colleagues are all go-getters with fires under their asses and their heads in the clouds, because they all fancy themselves entrepreneurs. They need to make their companies known on a tight budget - enter, me. The best part, they all expect to pay me; they're all in it for the money and they understand that no one works for free.

I look at my counterparts in the visual arts department, living a life I could have been involved in had I chosen my second option 4 years ago. All attempting to enter into the art or design world with an art background; All of them struggling. They don't have the business background I now have, and they don't live with the notion that no one works for free because they view art passionately rather than as a comunication devise. (Don't get my wrong, I am PASSIONATE about art, but I want the MONEY!). They are far more passive when it comes to making the bucks from their contracts; maybe because they see them as an extension of their school projects.

Hum... look at that, I think I have a leg up. Yay me for realizing my worth in monetary amounts and understanding the value of my skills to potential clients. Yay to a business degree and yay to a marketing mind.