Wall Mural-ing

Unfortunately, I haven't got any higher quality photos of my work just yet, but here are a few shots from a wall mural I did for a resto bar in Quebec City called Jack Saloon!

Moleskin Retrospective Website is Advancing!

I am so so excited by this project. Granted, it's taking up so much of my free time and I'm becoming rather obsessed by it, but nonetheless, it's coming along wonderfully!

Here's a screen shot of the website from the section "Personal Sketches"!

Moleskin Retrospective - May 6, 2010 - June 6, 2010

For a while now, I've been forming an online project in my mind but haven't had the opportunity to bring it to fruition.

I've wanted to create an online collection of my journaling from my Italy 2010 drawing trip. By packaging my journal entries, photos, personal sketches, course sketches and scans of all my random pamphlets, tickets and handouts, I believe I could recreate my experience.

Evidently, my own ego will be satiated by putting my work out there... but It's way more than that. It's about creating a digital snippet of a journey. An art project that took almost a year to come about - a month of intensive drawing, observations, emotions and exploration and a subsequent 9 months of contemplation and growing awareness of the impact this journey has had on who am I and where my life is going.

In my web design class, I have recently been given the mandate of creating a website - the topic is ours to choose and really, we are only fulfilling a few html requirements - so it could be extremely general and simple. But, I want to make this project personal. I have already completed half my design diploma, which means that I have only 4 more months to come up with a portfolio of pieces that truly represent me. I don't just want to meet requirements, I want to pour my heart out.

So my web page will be step one of my online Italy journal. The beginning of my Moleskin Retrospective.

For the sake of opening myself up to the internet world (as if I don't already do it) - here is an entry from my Italy moleskin.... Uncensored (apart from a couple of names), unedited. A review of my first drawing class in Italy.

May 10, 2010

Today was definitely step one in embracing the positive and accepting the negative, but more importantly – MOVING on & FORWARD from it!

Woke up feeling extremely crappy after it took me a long time to get to sleep and was woken by a fly buzzing by my ear. Two extremely weird nightmares:
1 – Woman (anorexic) wearing red leather dress and black zip up leather heals to her thighs. Beating Edward against another cat and she killed him.
2 - ***** wanting to leave ***** and refusing to listen to reason. Acting like an adolescent with her IPod earphones in.

Was slow to get into it but was quickly rejuvenated by Michele’s first drawing class. We walked down a country path. Old wooden broken down fence lining the way, trees surrounding us, creating a canopy of green foliage.

I sat attentively, soaking up her passion, love, wisdom & SENSUAL sentences. She feels everything she says. She breathes art. She wants us to experience art w/ all 5 senses. Drawing w/ an open mind, drawing in the present and walking the thin line connecting what we can depict in a 15 min sketch with reality. The drawing becomes our reality of the situation.

She expects passion from us. A constant connection between ourselves and the drawing. We need to submerse ourselves.

I am ready. I am completely ready. I want this experience and what I learn to define me and shape the rest of my life.

We drew four sketches – each time I took in what she said to improve. I want to show my passion to her, not for the grade and not for her respect but for me - In order to not do this half assed. I will benefit most if I’m a nerd about it. A shameless drawing nerd.

We showed our drawings for critique from Michele. Mine were mentioned twice as very strong. But I have a long way to go. It needs to be less about drawing it and more about feeling it – putting my feelings about what I’m seeing down on paper. Feeling what I’m seeing and interpreting it. Understanding the skeleton and structure and building up around that, less “exactly” what I’m seeing and more what I’m experiencing.

I loved every second. Classes only this morning, wasn’t enough. MORE MORE MORE PLEASE. I felt relaxed, I felt whole and good with myself.

Drawing makes me feel alive, connected to what’s happening around me.

It was good for my soul and I can’t wait for tomorrow.

As usual, missing Peter, my lover, but feeling more attached to the people around me, especially specific aspects of them. Connected to the good and trying to avoid the negative.

Rich personalities, warm people, interesting conversations. We’re already a strange little family.

First Impressions

So, if you didn't know, faithful readers (Hello? Are you out there somewhere?), I started school up again! Yay!!! Graphic Design at InterDec College. Hence the lack of blog posts and my inability to watch the last 3 episodes of Big Brother. Team Lane!

I won't lie, my first impressions of the institution where I'm presently undertaking my diploma were.... well, pretty harsh. They definitely made me question the decision to take out two loans in order to finance this endeavour.

Out of the 5-6 people who I've dealt with within the Administration, half of them have mislead me, half of them seemed confused, and the majority have prominent lisps. Not to mention that they file documents (I'm talking serious documents here) in paper file folders which get passed around between seemingly incompetent individuals. Obviously I'm prejudice since I am of the generation of constant computer usage and a non-stop, hook up to some form of technology; nonetheless, having my precious documents just floating around in file folders, makes me rather nervous. Electronic signatures anyone? I'm also rather worried about them loosing my documents since a close friend who attended Lasalle warned me that the administration has a reputation of "misplacing" important forms...
I dealt with a man at financial aid who was pushy, condescending and who appeared full-on bothered to be answering my simple questions. According to him, the answers were very apparent and I was the one who should figure it out. I spent a couple of weeks tormented trying to figure out my loan situation, calling the government's (incredibly crappy) financial aid office and leaving phone messages for the jerk who help me (that were never answered).
All in all, I was a little worried right off the bat, my sense of cognitive dissonance was strong due to the cost of the schooling and I wanted to feel secure in my decision and have faith in the people who were tending this next step in my educational career.

I jumped the gun a little with the negativity, I hadn't yet started school after all!

Day one:
Ok, so Interdec College is connected to Lasalle College, which means fashion departments, marketing/administration departments, esthetics departments, food/service departments, and finally, the design departments. All in all, some serious cliques and some serious styles. Literally 40% of the school is rocking the highly trendy and disturbing "half shaved head". Judgmental looks all around. Double kisses going off left and right. Leggings, leggings, leggings, oversized salvation army sweaters, glasses without lenses, fake combat boots and many, many, many, gay boys. I was a little intimidated.

Classes throughout the first week were slow to start off. Alot of explaining, reading of outlines, discussing needed materials, going over cellphone usage rules. There are so many rules at this school! Almost felt like I was back in highschool,... well, a much more stylish highschool. You'd think that students who are paying such a high fee to attend the classes would actually act as if they want to be there. I quickly learned that there are several of my colleagues who just don't give a f____. Texting away, facebooking, not listening to explanations, not understanding simple directions, not knowing how to use a ruler (???? seriously people?!). And after all that, turning to me to find out the specifics of what needs to be done - ummm helllll no! Needless to say, I definitely stand out and I know, with confidence, that this is an opportunity for me to shine. There will be no timidity from me, thank you very much! I'm not going to hold back from answering every single question asked by the professor.

And so week one began, me sitting at the front of every class, chatting up the professors on breaks, answering all the questions directed to the class and basking in the positive after effects of my marketing degree: the knowledge, the marketing mindset, the terminology, the ability to multi-task, the ability to study/complete homework on time/still have time to relax, the ability to follow directions and read assignments before asking questions, all of which aided in my "star" status in classes. All in all, not to gloat (although, why not gloat? I have worked rather hard to get here), but I feel as though I am far ahead of a few of the other students.

Now on to the positives of InterDec, because I do feel rather thrilled about how these past two weeks have gone!

Firstly, the teachers:
Approachable, positive, happy to be teaching, professionals in their field, eager to give advice, encouraging of creativity/thinking outside the box/controversial artwork, eager for participators, welcoming of conversation with students. I truly feel as though I have a lot of learn from these people and hopefully, some valuable contacts to be made as well.

Secondly, the classes:
Creativity, Colour Theory, Design Rules, Page Layout 1, Maquettes and Mock-ups, Image Processing!
Although I may be a little ahead in the theory of some of these courses, I'm enjoying every step of the learning process. I don't want to miss a thing! Gotta get back to the basics. Feels incredible to sit down and draw for 4 hours and have that be my class. Pretty much my heaven.
A homework assignment I've been working on this week for my creativity class - Draw a Volkswagen Beetle with these 5 following personalities: Irreverence, Pain, Confused, Athletic, Bored, Pain.

Also exciting about the classes, throughout the 1st semester, the majority of our work is done on drafts tables. The Profs want us to feel inspired by our own creativity and brainstorming rather than by google search or the computer design programs. It's enlightening. It's made me realize just how much I turn to the internet for inspiration with projects.

All in all, it's starting to pick up and it's really starting to be fun, super fun in fact. I'm enjoying all aspects, even the most mundane (measuring, aligning, drawing boxes). And I can already feel my creativity flowing beyond my school projects, I've been taking pictures, drawing, coming up with ideas for art, coming up with ideas for my T.A.-ing.

I feel great!

Feels as though it's been years...

A smidge over 2 months now since my last post. Not due to a slip of mind but due to a complete mental, physical and spiritual submersion into what I was doing (and that entailed disconnecting from the internet and technology). There were several moments however, while on my emotional and artistic and life-altering journey in Italy, that I thought " I'd love to blog this right now!". I wanted to freeze frame my experiences; encapsulate the scents, grasp the depth of the emotions and translate (to the best of my ability) the magnitude of energies floating around me. What a trip. Its effect on me will come in waves, I'm sure. The things that I've seen will be in the back of my mind for.... ever? I feel so moved, inspired, touched and connected to what I experienced that I don't think it will ever stop affecting me.

This trip has shaken my life up. It has twisted me around. I'm still spinning and dizzy from all of it... Where will I exit from this whirlwind and how will it shape the path I get sent onto?



A few pinnacles I have taken from this journey:

A certainty in my love of creation and capturing. A month of drawing from observation, taking pictures, re-creating sights-seen. A month of absorbing the breathtaking objects, views, people, places around me and putting them down on paper... with my own subtleties, my own sensitivity, my own passion and my own soul directing the pencil, has left me awestruck at the power of my eye, the skill I possess and the beauty of everything around me if I take the time to notice it.



I need to focus on me. Not by being egotistical and self-centered, but by being self-aware and realistic about my abilities. I need to embrace what I love and what I am good at and let go of the distractions that bring with them only negative sentiment. I spent too much time throughout my undergrad, focusing on the successes of others around me, on their talents and their paths and the expectations of society and the university. I felt jealous, pressured, stressed. My vision of myself and my future was blinded by my colleagues' and comrades' visions for themselves. I need to focus on myself, especially during this life-changing transition period, in order to be intuitive, focused, positive, forward-thinking and unique in my choice of path.





There's something bigger out there. I am by no means a religious person. I have realized, however, that I am very spiritual. I felt more in contact with myself, with the world, with the people around me than I've ever felt while in Italy. I felt smaller also, than I've ever felt. Smaller in the universe and smaller in the history of everything. I didn't realize how much of a bubble I was living in. My travels made me realize the beauty, magnificence, shear size and power of history, culture, religion and belongingness. Elements that were outside my bubble while living in Montreal only 2 months ago.

Prior to this trip: History was something that existed only in textbooks. Culture is diverse in Montreal, it is a mish-mash. I felt disconnected from it. Religion was a notion created by man to control the masses and impose. Finally, belonging.... I belong to my family and my small tree of relatives. I didn't feel as though there was a greater community that I belonged to.

In Italy, the history, culture and religion are intertwined throughout all members of society. These elements all supplement and superimpose eachother in a continuous growing spiral. A force that does not get questioned and simply is. The history, culture and religion is rooted in all and gives them a sense of belonging that I had never experienced before. The faith and brotherhood was astonishing and I was envious of it. No, I do not believe in a god, but when millions of people throughout centuries and milleniums have been brought together for a common goal and with common beliefs, I have to believe in something greater: The powers that unite us. Seeing how the Italians belonged made me realize how I belong, and how we all belong. The belonging as humans and as energies and as specs throughout the story of humanity, earth and the universe. This belonging is all-encompassing and is greater than can be fathomed. Feeling smaller than I'd ever felt made me feel more connected than I'd ever felt to everything around me. It gave me a sense that all that is around us has a purpose and is driven by a common force... whatever that force may be.

Truthfully though, the beauty of Italy alone was astonishing enough to make me believe in a higher power.









Love > Money. I know this one seems incredibly obvious. Haven't I been ranting this whole blog through about the fact that I want to do something I love? Yes. But I didn't really get it. Although I had some truly high points during my university career, creating, being imaginative, being a leader and especially during my Telus project as head of creation, there was always a sense of panic, fear of judgement and control from outside forces. In a sense, I was partly driven by negative forces.

While creating in Italy, there were several moments when I felt ENTIRELY connected to what I was doing: mind, body, soul, emotions, spirit, aspirations, all molded together and working as one unified force. I'd never felt that before. I was doing something that I loved and I was so, so happy. It allowed me to be carefree, confident, driven, positive. It allowed me to be ME. I was completely driven by positive forces.

I will always be tempted by my business side and I will always aspire to money. This is a part of me and a part of my "truth". I understand that fully and won't fight it. Italy though, has given me a new direction and a new purpose, one that is based on what I love and what makes me feel whole.



On June 3rd, I walked away from my final critique with my inspirational drawing teacher, Michele Delisle, 7 sketchbooks in arm. A wave of everything that I'd seen and done in the past month swept over me. Emotions high and PRIDE higher than ever. My drawings, not technically perfect, but perfect encapsulations of what the month meant to me and how the things I'd seen had touched me. What a great accomplishment and an incredible step. I will cherish this experience wholeheartedly. I know already that I will look back at this moment and think, "That experience was a turning point for me. It changed my life".

Last Tuesday, I graduated with a Bachelor of Commerce from the John Molson School of Business. My loving family and boyfriend beside me, my sense of belonging high. A great accomplishment and an incredible step. An accomplishment I am truly proud of. I have not taken the path that other John Molson graduates have... but I am confident, more so now than ever, that this is the right path for me; One based on education, passion, art and soul.












My sister accomplishments: my drawing experience in Italy and my bachelor in Commerce. Complimenting one another and major steps in forging the future me.

40 days and 40 nights until...

My Italian adventure begins!!!
Days filled with homemade colaziones and cenas, visitas, italiano classes and disegno disegno disegno! I want to submerse myself into my drawing and soak it all up - see everything as an artist with an open mind, have little inhibition and a strong sense of self. I want to start seeing the world as I used to see it during my first year in fine arts at John Abbott College; as lines and shades and curves and colours and depth. I'm going to make a pact with myself to document all of it - remember all the names and places and be able to put digital and drawn images to them.

Here's a list of the predetermined drawing/lesson/visit/touring spots!
Roma
Acquapendente
Bolsena
Cortona, Tuscany
Piazza Del Duomo
Orvieto
Uffizzi
Firenze


This trip signifies a major change for me: the finishing of my degree in Marketing from John Molson School of Business and the end of my time spent working in an office as an administrator (...yawn...); More importantly, it represents the beginning: the beginning of embracing my artistic side and doing so with a business mind, the beginning of marketing my skills and valuing my true talents, the beginning of embracing who I want to be and striving towards it, the beginning of my life post undergrad.... and the beginning of who knows what else. Hopefully, the beginning of a completely new mindset - one of individuality, passion, precision, self-confidence, skill development, ambitiousness (not to say that I haven't shown ambitiousness) but this is the start of my passionate ambition, driven by my abilities, intelligence, sense of self and broadened knowledge.

Oh how far I've come, how far I'll go...

Shown below is a self-portrait I created based on James Tissot's October (above). It was intended to represent my transition into womanhood... The beginning of my journey into the forest of pulpous vagina leaves. Delving into my sexuality was liberating. Funny how, a year and half after the completion of the drawing, I sense the change in myself and can now call myself a woman, unabashedly. I've traveled deep into the forest...