WHO IS EEBS? (and where are we going?)

Time for a follow-up, I believe! Things have been flying by so quickly that I have barely had anytime to keep up!! A wonderful, wonderful thing, that's for sure.

WHAT'S BEEN GOING ON

Jan - Major reality check from Mentor concerning a lack of vision and focus. I quickly realigned my goals and actively pushed towards them through research, reading, lots of drawing and digital creation.

Mid-Feb - Spent a weekend with En Masse and left totally inspired and certain that I needed a big change. I completely threw myself into my drawing and this is when I had a flash of insight. Must create as Eebs Berenstein* and must work freelance!

* I've been using the sudonym Eebs Berenstein since 2009 when I felt the need to forge my place and identity within the John Molson School of Business. I wanted to openly associate with my creative side and differentiate myself from the 'typical' business student. I started using it as an online persona but it quickly became about my exploration of creative and career opportunities.  


I realized this March (with the help of a close friend) that having a sudonym builds allure, allows for anonymity and represents a specific time in your life as a creator. I will not be Eebs forever. But she is a big part of me now.


If I were to design strictly as Erin Willett for the rest of my life, when delving into different creative fields, people may become confused about what I actually do... Is Erin Willett a designer? A director? A marketer? A spiritual being? Creating under 'Eebs' gives me a creative 'umbrella' under which I fall in all my rolls. Eebs represents possibilities and opportunities for creation! Eebs represents who I can become.


I've discovered also that representing Eebs through my work, instead of myself, allows me to be less inhibited. It's about creative freedom.*

Early March - Quit my job with only a couple small contracts lined up but with a ton of inspiration and drive for the next stimulating and creative work that would come my way. In the mean time, I started focusing my efforts on my personal development, visual identity and online persona! I felt light and unstoppable after having trusted my instincts.

Mid-March - Jobs started coming in! Many jobs in fact! Positive word of mouth is spreading :). I also focused my attention on spreading the online word about Eebs Berenstein and got my facebook artist page up.

End of March - My website came together (Thanks for my friend, Nick Perusse, who did the coding). With that done, I was able to market myself as Eebs. I applied for the Sid Lee Bootcamp. I applied for a Moment Factory open interview session called Expose Your Talents, which I was invited to attend!

Last weekend I took part in the Moment Factory interview. ... ... ... Just amazing. Incredible space, such warm and receptive employees, creative atmosphere, supportive execs, smiling interviewer. This is the place for me. I was informed that they are not necessarily looking to fill positions with these interviews but more so to prepare themselves for the expanding they'll be doing in the near future. Every extremity is crossed for an opportunity to work with MF.

Right around the time of the interview, I was given the opportunity to freelance at Sid Lee for a week! Of course, I jumped on it! And so, here I am. Writing this from my Sid Lee freelancer desk, waiting for the next job to come to me :).

SO WHAT'S NEXT

Well - in a perfect world:
I get a freelancing or permanent job with Moment Factory and I get chosen as the graphic designer for the Sid Lee Bootcamp!!! I'm sending all my positive energy into the universe for these two things!

What's next for Eebs?
I've been doing alot of graphic novel reading and feeling really inspired by the style, colours, drama, story-telling. The thoughts aren't concrete just yet but I'm thinking I want to explore the comic side of myself and Eebs Berenstein. I'm developing a character that represents who Eebs was before she got so bad-ass. Perhaps an awkward, lanky, teen-version of Eebs - Ms. Eebie... Stay tuned.

I will also continue to depict Eebs as the confident, strong, independant woman you've seen in my recent pieces. My vision for the next piece: Eebs is going COMMANDO! Get ready, people! She's going to beat you down and you're going to love it!

I also want to explore my infatuation with typography. I'm planning the release of an Eebs font in the coming weeks. Followed shortly after by a Berenstein font...

Stayed tuned also for a feature on EEBS BERENSTEIN on MTL BLOG's FEATURE FRIDAY in the next few weeks!

Maybe you've seen this one already but I'm really loving, loving, loving this piece! So much attitude in Eebs' face. She's fearless and that really comes across.

This piece also sprung much inspiration for my coming pieces. Think: army, 60's, 70's, women in power.

This also got me thinking of visuals that would have been considered common place in 60's and 70's advertising. All around sexist visuals with men depicted in power rolls. I want to play with those notions of power, femininity, control and SELLING.


SPREAD THE WORD AND JOIN THE FORCES! EEBS WANTS YOU!

www.facebook.com/EebsB
www.eebsberenstein.com
@eebsberenstein on twitter

Love always,

Eebs Berenstein

As Irene pours down.

A self-indulgent piece to clear my thoughts and sulk on a rainy day. Apologies for the run-ons and at times, difficult to follow trains of thought. I'm a little all-over the place today but sometimes you just gotta get it out.

I've had this post in my mind for a few weeks now, since I completed my Graphic Design diploma, actually. The fear of the "real world" has quickly set in, especially without any time off to collect my thoughts after a whirlwind ending. (I started working full-time the Monday after my Friday evening graduation). Negative, defeatist feelings have been rolling through me and developing into more concrete thoughts - and some, developing into realities. Excuse my tangents as I feel there will be a few throughout this entry -- rainy days just kind of do this to me. "The winds of change are blowing through, the rain washing the slate clean. My accomplishments behind me, new ones must take their place". Ya, those sorts of daunting, melodramatic lines are common for me on rainy days.

I've been on a major high. The highest high of my blossoming artistic career. I feel pretentious calling myself an artist but I'm not solely a graphic designer, so I'll use the word and take the title. With the title, comes the realization that as an artist my creations are not solely for personal pleasure and release, they are for the bread and butter, the dollars, the advancements. I have always been faced with the desire, nay, need, to be creative but never like this. Never as a career, never to make the rent. These days, the pressure to create does not solely come from my internal monologue; I now feel I must appease others' who patiently await my next creation - my Facebook friends, family, teachers, and as the added kicker, my employers. Important people around me expect greatness from me. I expect greatness from myself. So, what's the next move? How can I keep up the success?

Strange feelings for me since I began working full-time: being directed, producing for the sake of money and creating for the benefit of others. I have to acknowledge however, that it is a new feeling. Things will fall into place and the pressure won't be as numbing and intimidating - I will give myself time and attempt to relax into my current position. But for now, I'll just panic and ponder a little...

As a "professional" artist, my employment could push me in one of two directions; I could sink or swim. Continued success: breast-stroking onwards into the unknown, skill-testing tides or, the worst possible outcome, artistic apathy: soaking in murky, brown, semi-creative/semi-productive waters that hint at my past successes. It's the beginning of this stage of my life and I'm allowing myself to get into the darkness and unfamiliarity of it all, so yes, I am afraid. Afraid that creating for others who lack inspiration & are often tacky, will drag me down into an innovation-less life zone, without drive or vision of places I want to be and the person I can become. I don't want to be a designer at the median of creativity - reproducing what's already been done for the sake of rapid output or simply to finish the boring job off and put me out of my misery. Frankly, I'm afraid I will loose my motivation. I'm afraid I will spend crucial career development years working for the wrong company or working for the wrong end goal. How can I know that I am where I should be? How can I know I'm taking the steps I'm supposed to take so that my bank of ideas never runs dry? How can I stay at the forefront of my design abilities? I don't want to become a lackluster designer/artist who repeats themselves.

I want to feel the way I have felt this past year, for the rest of my days. I want to ooze inspiration for myself and those around me. I'm realizing now that this takes practice and effort. When you're a student, the projects are based around developing your brainstorming and conceptualization - the inspiration comes easily. You are constantly surrounded by curious people who have yet to be jaded by the underwhelming projects that lay ahead. I need to be involved in my growth because my employment and my work projects cannot be the heart of it, they can only be a part of it - on the sidelines.

To only way for me to keep up that drive is to constantly look for new, encourage myself to research, brainstorm deeply instead of settling on the first idea. I need to remain at the heart of the action: living in metropolis cities, going to vernissages, museums, listening to new music, following interesting blogs, being attuned to European artistic developments, having arts and crafts days with creative friends. Luckily for me, I have all those things readily available to me... and I have a deep want to move forward.

After all this fretting, having written out this worrisome post has done me some good. For the sake of relaxation and perspective, I think it would wise to look at the big picture. I guess storms just do strange things to the designer in me or oops, should I say artist?! Professional artist? Creator?? Won't worry about that just yet.

Italia in a tiny, tiny, nutshell...

As an example for one of her classes, my mother asked me to create a video composed of pictures, voice over, music and transitions...

What better topic to create a video of than Italy!? I had over 2000 pics to choose from and could talk about it for hours. Quite frankly, it was a great sum up of the trip for me; even though there was absolutely no way this video could do the trip justice... None the less, a touching reminder... and it was definitely liberating to talk about it and work on it, sort of like trip closure.

I've tried on countless occasions, unsuccessfully, to upload the vid through Blogspot. So here's a link to the vid on Youtube!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5KNj4c0__MM

The crest of an artist

I remember the sensation of pure pride and joy while walking through the halls of John Abbott College, showing off my paint stained hands and clothing. What a badge of honour it was. I was an art student and I got the study the best thing in the world.

Now, 7 years later, my hands are once again covered (to a much lesser extent as I've learned to manage my mediums) with paint and the side of my hands stained with lead. I still feel that sense of pride. And to tell you the truth, I feel it in a much more spiritually fulfilling manner. I'm not proud because of the cool kids in my class or the reputation of the art students or the clique I'm associated with. I'm proud because I've reached a level in my life where I feel truly whole. I am doing what I'm good at and I'm lining myself up for a successful, fruitful, happy career and future. It feels so, so good.

The magical world of studying arts is no longer unattainable or a naive choice. I know myself now and I know what direction is right for me. And I've found something that compliments all facets of my education, interest and skills. Satisfaction!

First Impressions

So, if you didn't know, faithful readers (Hello? Are you out there somewhere?), I started school up again! Yay!!! Graphic Design at InterDec College. Hence the lack of blog posts and my inability to watch the last 3 episodes of Big Brother. Team Lane!

I won't lie, my first impressions of the institution where I'm presently undertaking my diploma were.... well, pretty harsh. They definitely made me question the decision to take out two loans in order to finance this endeavour.

Out of the 5-6 people who I've dealt with within the Administration, half of them have mislead me, half of them seemed confused, and the majority have prominent lisps. Not to mention that they file documents (I'm talking serious documents here) in paper file folders which get passed around between seemingly incompetent individuals. Obviously I'm prejudice since I am of the generation of constant computer usage and a non-stop, hook up to some form of technology; nonetheless, having my precious documents just floating around in file folders, makes me rather nervous. Electronic signatures anyone? I'm also rather worried about them loosing my documents since a close friend who attended Lasalle warned me that the administration has a reputation of "misplacing" important forms...
I dealt with a man at financial aid who was pushy, condescending and who appeared full-on bothered to be answering my simple questions. According to him, the answers were very apparent and I was the one who should figure it out. I spent a couple of weeks tormented trying to figure out my loan situation, calling the government's (incredibly crappy) financial aid office and leaving phone messages for the jerk who help me (that were never answered).
All in all, I was a little worried right off the bat, my sense of cognitive dissonance was strong due to the cost of the schooling and I wanted to feel secure in my decision and have faith in the people who were tending this next step in my educational career.

I jumped the gun a little with the negativity, I hadn't yet started school after all!

Day one:
Ok, so Interdec College is connected to Lasalle College, which means fashion departments, marketing/administration departments, esthetics departments, food/service departments, and finally, the design departments. All in all, some serious cliques and some serious styles. Literally 40% of the school is rocking the highly trendy and disturbing "half shaved head". Judgmental looks all around. Double kisses going off left and right. Leggings, leggings, leggings, oversized salvation army sweaters, glasses without lenses, fake combat boots and many, many, many, gay boys. I was a little intimidated.

Classes throughout the first week were slow to start off. Alot of explaining, reading of outlines, discussing needed materials, going over cellphone usage rules. There are so many rules at this school! Almost felt like I was back in highschool,... well, a much more stylish highschool. You'd think that students who are paying such a high fee to attend the classes would actually act as if they want to be there. I quickly learned that there are several of my colleagues who just don't give a f____. Texting away, facebooking, not listening to explanations, not understanding simple directions, not knowing how to use a ruler (???? seriously people?!). And after all that, turning to me to find out the specifics of what needs to be done - ummm helllll no! Needless to say, I definitely stand out and I know, with confidence, that this is an opportunity for me to shine. There will be no timidity from me, thank you very much! I'm not going to hold back from answering every single question asked by the professor.

And so week one began, me sitting at the front of every class, chatting up the professors on breaks, answering all the questions directed to the class and basking in the positive after effects of my marketing degree: the knowledge, the marketing mindset, the terminology, the ability to multi-task, the ability to study/complete homework on time/still have time to relax, the ability to follow directions and read assignments before asking questions, all of which aided in my "star" status in classes. All in all, not to gloat (although, why not gloat? I have worked rather hard to get here), but I feel as though I am far ahead of a few of the other students.

Now on to the positives of InterDec, because I do feel rather thrilled about how these past two weeks have gone!

Firstly, the teachers:
Approachable, positive, happy to be teaching, professionals in their field, eager to give advice, encouraging of creativity/thinking outside the box/controversial artwork, eager for participators, welcoming of conversation with students. I truly feel as though I have a lot of learn from these people and hopefully, some valuable contacts to be made as well.

Secondly, the classes:
Creativity, Colour Theory, Design Rules, Page Layout 1, Maquettes and Mock-ups, Image Processing!
Although I may be a little ahead in the theory of some of these courses, I'm enjoying every step of the learning process. I don't want to miss a thing! Gotta get back to the basics. Feels incredible to sit down and draw for 4 hours and have that be my class. Pretty much my heaven.
A homework assignment I've been working on this week for my creativity class - Draw a Volkswagen Beetle with these 5 following personalities: Irreverence, Pain, Confused, Athletic, Bored, Pain.

Also exciting about the classes, throughout the 1st semester, the majority of our work is done on drafts tables. The Profs want us to feel inspired by our own creativity and brainstorming rather than by google search or the computer design programs. It's enlightening. It's made me realize just how much I turn to the internet for inspiration with projects.

All in all, it's starting to pick up and it's really starting to be fun, super fun in fact. I'm enjoying all aspects, even the most mundane (measuring, aligning, drawing boxes). And I can already feel my creativity flowing beyond my school projects, I've been taking pictures, drawing, coming up with ideas for art, coming up with ideas for my T.A.-ing.

I feel great!

Feels as though it's been years...

A smidge over 2 months now since my last post. Not due to a slip of mind but due to a complete mental, physical and spiritual submersion into what I was doing (and that entailed disconnecting from the internet and technology). There were several moments however, while on my emotional and artistic and life-altering journey in Italy, that I thought " I'd love to blog this right now!". I wanted to freeze frame my experiences; encapsulate the scents, grasp the depth of the emotions and translate (to the best of my ability) the magnitude of energies floating around me. What a trip. Its effect on me will come in waves, I'm sure. The things that I've seen will be in the back of my mind for.... ever? I feel so moved, inspired, touched and connected to what I experienced that I don't think it will ever stop affecting me.

This trip has shaken my life up. It has twisted me around. I'm still spinning and dizzy from all of it... Where will I exit from this whirlwind and how will it shape the path I get sent onto?



A few pinnacles I have taken from this journey:

A certainty in my love of creation and capturing. A month of drawing from observation, taking pictures, re-creating sights-seen. A month of absorbing the breathtaking objects, views, people, places around me and putting them down on paper... with my own subtleties, my own sensitivity, my own passion and my own soul directing the pencil, has left me awestruck at the power of my eye, the skill I possess and the beauty of everything around me if I take the time to notice it.



I need to focus on me. Not by being egotistical and self-centered, but by being self-aware and realistic about my abilities. I need to embrace what I love and what I am good at and let go of the distractions that bring with them only negative sentiment. I spent too much time throughout my undergrad, focusing on the successes of others around me, on their talents and their paths and the expectations of society and the university. I felt jealous, pressured, stressed. My vision of myself and my future was blinded by my colleagues' and comrades' visions for themselves. I need to focus on myself, especially during this life-changing transition period, in order to be intuitive, focused, positive, forward-thinking and unique in my choice of path.





There's something bigger out there. I am by no means a religious person. I have realized, however, that I am very spiritual. I felt more in contact with myself, with the world, with the people around me than I've ever felt while in Italy. I felt smaller also, than I've ever felt. Smaller in the universe and smaller in the history of everything. I didn't realize how much of a bubble I was living in. My travels made me realize the beauty, magnificence, shear size and power of history, culture, religion and belongingness. Elements that were outside my bubble while living in Montreal only 2 months ago.

Prior to this trip: History was something that existed only in textbooks. Culture is diverse in Montreal, it is a mish-mash. I felt disconnected from it. Religion was a notion created by man to control the masses and impose. Finally, belonging.... I belong to my family and my small tree of relatives. I didn't feel as though there was a greater community that I belonged to.

In Italy, the history, culture and religion are intertwined throughout all members of society. These elements all supplement and superimpose eachother in a continuous growing spiral. A force that does not get questioned and simply is. The history, culture and religion is rooted in all and gives them a sense of belonging that I had never experienced before. The faith and brotherhood was astonishing and I was envious of it. No, I do not believe in a god, but when millions of people throughout centuries and milleniums have been brought together for a common goal and with common beliefs, I have to believe in something greater: The powers that unite us. Seeing how the Italians belonged made me realize how I belong, and how we all belong. The belonging as humans and as energies and as specs throughout the story of humanity, earth and the universe. This belonging is all-encompassing and is greater than can be fathomed. Feeling smaller than I'd ever felt made me feel more connected than I'd ever felt to everything around me. It gave me a sense that all that is around us has a purpose and is driven by a common force... whatever that force may be.

Truthfully though, the beauty of Italy alone was astonishing enough to make me believe in a higher power.









Love > Money. I know this one seems incredibly obvious. Haven't I been ranting this whole blog through about the fact that I want to do something I love? Yes. But I didn't really get it. Although I had some truly high points during my university career, creating, being imaginative, being a leader and especially during my Telus project as head of creation, there was always a sense of panic, fear of judgement and control from outside forces. In a sense, I was partly driven by negative forces.

While creating in Italy, there were several moments when I felt ENTIRELY connected to what I was doing: mind, body, soul, emotions, spirit, aspirations, all molded together and working as one unified force. I'd never felt that before. I was doing something that I loved and I was so, so happy. It allowed me to be carefree, confident, driven, positive. It allowed me to be ME. I was completely driven by positive forces.

I will always be tempted by my business side and I will always aspire to money. This is a part of me and a part of my "truth". I understand that fully and won't fight it. Italy though, has given me a new direction and a new purpose, one that is based on what I love and what makes me feel whole.



On June 3rd, I walked away from my final critique with my inspirational drawing teacher, Michele Delisle, 7 sketchbooks in arm. A wave of everything that I'd seen and done in the past month swept over me. Emotions high and PRIDE higher than ever. My drawings, not technically perfect, but perfect encapsulations of what the month meant to me and how the things I'd seen had touched me. What a great accomplishment and an incredible step. I will cherish this experience wholeheartedly. I know already that I will look back at this moment and think, "That experience was a turning point for me. It changed my life".

Last Tuesday, I graduated with a Bachelor of Commerce from the John Molson School of Business. My loving family and boyfriend beside me, my sense of belonging high. A great accomplishment and an incredible step. An accomplishment I am truly proud of. I have not taken the path that other John Molson graduates have... but I am confident, more so now than ever, that this is the right path for me; One based on education, passion, art and soul.












My sister accomplishments: my drawing experience in Italy and my bachelor in Commerce. Complimenting one another and major steps in forging the future me.

Client rage... and a little self-encouragement!

Just because I happen to still be a student, does not mean that I don't have experience or a brain. I have skills and they are valuable. I feel confident in my ability to put a monetary amount to those skills. Does it really offend you that that amount happens to be higher than you expected? I'm sorry that you wanted cheap labour, but my work is solid - I'm not going to do the job for peanuts. There's no need for you to give me life advice or belittle me - I am not naive. And to be honest, my status as a marketing student probably benefits you - I have artistic skills with a marketing background. Isn't that a step above? Especially when delivering communication creatives?


I realize that I need to work for less in order to build up my experience but I don't want to enter this business by lowering my prices simply to please cheap clients; particularly considering my packed schedule and lack of time for work.
I'm facing the reality that I might just have to work for less once I get back from Italy and have no job - but the bottom line is, my work is good and it should be priced as such. It'll be much easier then, though. I'll have no school work, no job (for a short time) and I'll be doing something I'm passionate about - I could deal with less cash.
I do feel unsure and a little shakey but this is where it begins, I have to reinforce the confidence and stand behind my abilities. Therefore, my work=$$$. Otherwise, I'll be just another struggling artist with no self-confidence and making no money.

40 days and 40 nights until...

My Italian adventure begins!!!
Days filled with homemade colaziones and cenas, visitas, italiano classes and disegno disegno disegno! I want to submerse myself into my drawing and soak it all up - see everything as an artist with an open mind, have little inhibition and a strong sense of self. I want to start seeing the world as I used to see it during my first year in fine arts at John Abbott College; as lines and shades and curves and colours and depth. I'm going to make a pact with myself to document all of it - remember all the names and places and be able to put digital and drawn images to them.

Here's a list of the predetermined drawing/lesson/visit/touring spots!
Roma
Acquapendente
Bolsena
Cortona, Tuscany
Piazza Del Duomo
Orvieto
Uffizzi
Firenze


This trip signifies a major change for me: the finishing of my degree in Marketing from John Molson School of Business and the end of my time spent working in an office as an administrator (...yawn...); More importantly, it represents the beginning: the beginning of embracing my artistic side and doing so with a business mind, the beginning of marketing my skills and valuing my true talents, the beginning of embracing who I want to be and striving towards it, the beginning of my life post undergrad.... and the beginning of who knows what else. Hopefully, the beginning of a completely new mindset - one of individuality, passion, precision, self-confidence, skill development, ambitiousness (not to say that I haven't shown ambitiousness) but this is the start of my passionate ambition, driven by my abilities, intelligence, sense of self and broadened knowledge.