Making moves and feeling good

Ahhhh, the stress, fear of failure, self-worth and satisfaction that come along with jumping into something new... I won't lie, I definitely had to build up the guts and convince myself of the degree of my talents before taking some serious steps, towards my career.

I'm surrounded by students who haven't yet put themselves into a category with "the adults in the real world". It's highly intimidating to suddenly have to view something you do as a passion, as a possible career. And even more intimidating to do things that put your neck on the line and skills on display. I guess that's jumping into the real world.

But I got no shit to bitch about right now, only money to make!

So, I'm registering my business: Erin Willett Designs. Starting an online portfolio of my work (should have done this a long, long time ago). Getting contracts! Making some $$$! Hells to the yes. Seems as though I might have what it takes to make something real out of this.

Luckily for me, the contracts are falling into my lap. The majority of the people I've been around in the past 4 years are business students... Business students turn into business people... Business people need creatives for marketing... And I'm especially lucky that my JMSB colleagues are all go-getters with fires under their asses and their heads in the clouds, because they all fancy themselves entrepreneurs. They need to make their companies known on a tight budget - enter, me. The best part, they all expect to pay me; they're all in it for the money and they understand that no one works for free.

I look at my counterparts in the visual arts department, living a life I could have been involved in had I chosen my second option 4 years ago. All attempting to enter into the art or design world with an art background; All of them struggling. They don't have the business background I now have, and they don't live with the notion that no one works for free because they view art passionately rather than as a comunication devise. (Don't get my wrong, I am PASSIONATE about art, but I want the MONEY!). They are far more passive when it comes to making the bucks from their contracts; maybe because they see them as an extension of their school projects.

Hum... look at that, I think I have a leg up. Yay me for realizing my worth in monetary amounts and understanding the value of my skills to potential clients. Yay to a business degree and yay to a marketing mind.

Oh how far I've come, how far I'll go...

Shown below is a self-portrait I created based on James Tissot's October (above). It was intended to represent my transition into womanhood... The beginning of my journey into the forest of pulpous vagina leaves. Delving into my sexuality was liberating. Funny how, a year and half after the completion of the drawing, I sense the change in myself and can now call myself a woman, unabashedly. I've traveled deep into the forest...

The Power of the Haptic

I've had the opportunity, much more so during cegep than now, to observe the mental torment students would go through when drawing a Haptic. I think it's especially difficult for students who aren't necessarily great artists yet fancy themselves rather skilled. A huge mental leap is required in order to trust one's hand eye coordination and the power of the right brain when understanding shapes, objects and negative space. You have to let go of your want to be better, your competitive side, your control and the power you exert over your pencil. I've watched many drawers have an extremely difficult time jumping into the haptic, letting go and allowing it to carry them to the unknown. The pencil glides over the page, knowing and aware. The power of the haptic is exposed only when the final product is revealed and the drawer observes the work created not by their control but by their leap of faith. It's liberating to step out of your comfort zone. And then you realize, more powerful than your control over the pencil is the guidance of the eye... The haptic makes you feel the object being drawn rather than see it. The haptic takes your drawing to the next level and shows you how truly capable you are as a drawer.