The Importance of the Online Profile

In this day and age, when so many of our perceptions and judgments are based on ones' viral activity, a large part of our identities are created through our presence online. People judge us based on our online activity, employers do or do not hire us based on our online activity and our online activity can make or break a potential relationship based on that initial acceptance of friendship and the lurking that ensues shortly afterward. What does my online presence say about me?
What does this blog say about me?
I realize that I created it and am following through on it for selfish reasons, to track my progression and hopefully force myself into a forward momentum as far as my career is concerned; Nonetheless, I'm writing it for the masses. The point is to stand out and have a voice among every other 24 yr old blogger trying to find their way. The few followers that I have and the few that happen upon my blog gain insight into my life in these short snippets - same goes for the farce that is my facebook page and my newly created linkedin page. (I realize that in the short amount of time that I've had this blog, others' perceptions of me have been a topic on two occasions, but I care about what people think of me and I'm not ashamed of that. Human interactions are what life's all about and therefore, I contemplate this stuff).
I want people to perceive me for what I am. It's so easy for people to create preconceived notions of you. In fact, it's human nature, but I want to shape those perceptions to the best of my ability. Can we really depict who we are through a viral medium? Maybe that's what this day's communication is all about.
I'm hoping that someone out there - some random who's destined to enter into my life - will stumble upon one of my online profiles and think, "I understand this girl, I get this girl, she's real and I want to give her an opportunity". I know it sounds ridiculous; However, with so much of our lives online and so much effort put into creating these accurate online depictions/snapshots of who we are fundamentally, isn't our goal to have someone connect with us and "feel" us and to inevitably gain from that connection? Don't we all want someone to say, "I think you're great and I want to help you on you career path." Okay, maybe not all of us want that... But, I do! Over here, world!! Look at me, surf my pages, see my potential!

Celebrating! (So much)

Ahhhhhh, now that the vent is out of my system, here are the wonderful things happening in my life (get ready for it, this will probably end up an extremely mushy and sentimental post):

Today, I'm celebrating my 1 year anniversary with my most amazing, intelligent and supportive boyfriend, Peter! My last year has been so exciting, greatly because of him, and our next will bring more of the same.

March 17th, 2009 - first date. He was a trooper and met about 30 of my drunken friends. I was so shy and intrigued by him. I was hooked from that point on.

We're also celebrating the generosity of his parents because they're sending him to meet me in Rome in June! YAY and THANK YOU, Eric and Kate! What an amazing way to finish off our degrees, enjoy the beginning of the summer and enjoy eachother. We will travel to the south of France where Peter's Grandmother lives and then to Paris to see his uncle, then back to Montreal.

And upon our arrival back home, we will officially be moving in together! We found ourselves a lovely 3.5 in Verdun... A perfect place to settle down for a year or so until we move to Vancouver.

Close to the metro, great kitchen and bathroom (with a huge skylight), washer/dryer outlet, sunny, two balconies, close to grocery store (with president's choice products), close to canal. And, as you can see, a tree that hangs right over our front balcony. Very excited!

Beyond Peter things, my semester (as exhausting as it's been) is really coming together. Feeling like a graduate and feeling like I'm standing out in classes - all around, really feeling good! My IMC project/competition team is a well-oiled machine and we're getting through our piles and piles of research and finally on the brink of bringing together our creative execution!

Alas, graduation is pending. I have mixed feelings about this one - but I'm damn proud, so it's a celebration nonetheless.

Finally, as much as it's daunting that I'll be jobless upon my return from Europe, I'm really trying to take it as a positive. No fear! I will be great and I will get an amazing job! (My mantra.... repeat, repeat, repeat).

Venting - It was bound to happen...

Some venting to do today and also some celebrating; Seems to be a lot to celebrate and less to vent about these days, so I’ll get the latter out of the way first. I anticipated having a rocky start to my start-up design company... so this is to be expected. Here it goes.

Amidst the most hectic of all my undergrad semesters - school work, presentations, group meetings, actual work, time with boyfriend, social life, sleep (the little that I do get) and so on - I’ve taken on a few design jobs in order to stretch my legs and test my skills! I entered into them feeling confident in my abilities and confident in my grasp of my clients’ wants. I’ve gotten a few reality checks, though.

Firstly, I’m working on an ad for an industrial distributor of packaging products for farmers. I met with him and spoke with him several times about the layout and elements he wanted me to include in the ad. The last I hear from him, he says that he’d like me to have it completed before I leave for Italy at the beginning of May. – Eeek! Brow sweat! A lot of pressure, considering everything else I have to do, but I can handle it. So, I write him to tell him what I’ll be charging and all of a sudden he’s gonzo - can’t get in touch with him. A tad frustrating considering I’ve already spent time on this and the looming deadline, but I guess I’ll wait it out.

Secondly, and more annoyingly, I’m creating a logo for a student association at my university. The president approached me and said he needed it within a week. We sat a spoke of elements he’d like me to include. He mentioned a few things but for the most part, he gave me little insight. I proposed ideas, to which he seemed enthusiastic and responsive! Good start, or so it seemed. I buckled down (again, amongst all my other work) and completed 10 variations of logos from which the association could choose one or parts of them that they wanted me to rework for the final version. I send them out, by my deadline, eager to hear the executive input.

I get one email back from the VP of external affairs saying she didn’t think they even needed a logo and that she thought the ones I’d sent looked like Balls. What am I supposed to do with that information?? Balls?? Really? Apparently, the president had approached me too soon, and there were internal conflicts which needed to be resolved prior to moving forward. Why the VP External felt the need to air these conflicts out to a third party hired to do a job for them? I don't know. What do you think of them? Ballish? Hah. I'll admit a few of them do have a phallic/testicular quality to them! And, I'll laugh that off.

Now, he wants me to create a second, entirely new round of logos from which the association will choose. My time is not free, people! I told him that I’d charge him for the work I’d already done if he wanted me to start over since according to him, there was nothing from my first round that they could work with. I feel snubbed and my ego is a little crushed – but that’s the name of the game. I gotta toughen up and realize that it’s impossible to please an entire board of executives - especially pompous student execs. Now, the tough part will be getting paid for something they didn’t use…

Official! BOOM!

Another thing to add to my countdown... officially leaving my present position as co-head administrator of B & G Realties in May when I depart for ITALY!
So,.. explosion it is!! I'm ready for the excitement and fear and adventure of the new!
What will this next job bring? What doors will be opened? What skills will I learn?
I should jump on the job-searching/interviewing process asap. Can I really fit another task into my schedule?? As much as I feel the need to have something lined up for my return in June, I know this trip will change my mentality completely. Maybe the job I'd go for now will be a 180 from what I'll want in June.
Oh right, forgot to mention, I officially registered my design business! Erin Willett Designs. Oh yes... feels so good!
So, if the fates are with me, maybe I won't need to line up a job. Maybe, just maybe, I can use my last 10 months in Montreal to explore my entrepreneur and designer sides. And, I'll have a degree in marketing, so I should technically have all the skills needed to market myself effectively. It'll be tough. But, as mentioned, the explosion is suppose to entail grabbing my life by the balls! Why not step out and allow myself to rock the shit out of my first year as a small business owner? After all, this is supposed to be my lucky year! Shine on me, Fates!

People watching and the mental travels that ensue

People watching. I could not get more lost in, or be more gratified by, people watching. I could spend hours soaking up the emotions, outfits, swaggers, hairstyles, sourpuss faces. I spend (as does everybody) so much time completely absorbed by myself and the happenings around me. It blows my mind to sit and watch people and attempt to fathom the size of the universe that is their life. They walk by me and for a split second, I am a part of it all... and, they are gone. However, I'm left with their sense, their being - maybe their aura. I often feel haunted by my people watching stints - not in a horror-movie sort of way, but in a "touched-by-their-presence" sort of way. I feel inspired either by peoples' individualities or by their lack there of. I want to soak up the uniqueness and creativity that goes into putting oneself together - creating the package that is seen as "you" by the other passerbys. I feel inspired to be more of myself and to be less like the norm. I feel inspired by the longing to stand out and leave my presence behind when walking by a fellow people watcher. What impression do I leave with them? What impression do I want to leave?

In essence, the people watching, allows me a brief delve into a universe unlike my own, infact completely different from my own. I take from that universe what I can during our rapid encounter, based on my perceptions and judgments and mood and I submerge back into my universe, slightly altered - with my mind and eyes more open and my awareness of self more acute.

Making moves and feeling good

Ahhhh, the stress, fear of failure, self-worth and satisfaction that come along with jumping into something new... I won't lie, I definitely had to build up the guts and convince myself of the degree of my talents before taking some serious steps, towards my career.

I'm surrounded by students who haven't yet put themselves into a category with "the adults in the real world". It's highly intimidating to suddenly have to view something you do as a passion, as a possible career. And even more intimidating to do things that put your neck on the line and skills on display. I guess that's jumping into the real world.

But I got no shit to bitch about right now, only money to make!

So, I'm registering my business: Erin Willett Designs. Starting an online portfolio of my work (should have done this a long, long time ago). Getting contracts! Making some $$$! Hells to the yes. Seems as though I might have what it takes to make something real out of this.

Luckily for me, the contracts are falling into my lap. The majority of the people I've been around in the past 4 years are business students... Business students turn into business people... Business people need creatives for marketing... And I'm especially lucky that my JMSB colleagues are all go-getters with fires under their asses and their heads in the clouds, because they all fancy themselves entrepreneurs. They need to make their companies known on a tight budget - enter, me. The best part, they all expect to pay me; they're all in it for the money and they understand that no one works for free.

I look at my counterparts in the visual arts department, living a life I could have been involved in had I chosen my second option 4 years ago. All attempting to enter into the art or design world with an art background; All of them struggling. They don't have the business background I now have, and they don't live with the notion that no one works for free because they view art passionately rather than as a comunication devise. (Don't get my wrong, I am PASSIONATE about art, but I want the MONEY!). They are far more passive when it comes to making the bucks from their contracts; maybe because they see them as an extension of their school projects.

Hum... look at that, I think I have a leg up. Yay me for realizing my worth in monetary amounts and understanding the value of my skills to potential clients. Yay to a business degree and yay to a marketing mind.

Oh how far I've come, how far I'll go...

Shown below is a self-portrait I created based on James Tissot's October (above). It was intended to represent my transition into womanhood... The beginning of my journey into the forest of pulpous vagina leaves. Delving into my sexuality was liberating. Funny how, a year and half after the completion of the drawing, I sense the change in myself and can now call myself a woman, unabashedly. I've traveled deep into the forest...

The Power of the Haptic

I've had the opportunity, much more so during cegep than now, to observe the mental torment students would go through when drawing a Haptic. I think it's especially difficult for students who aren't necessarily great artists yet fancy themselves rather skilled. A huge mental leap is required in order to trust one's hand eye coordination and the power of the right brain when understanding shapes, objects and negative space. You have to let go of your want to be better, your competitive side, your control and the power you exert over your pencil. I've watched many drawers have an extremely difficult time jumping into the haptic, letting go and allowing it to carry them to the unknown. The pencil glides over the page, knowing and aware. The power of the haptic is exposed only when the final product is revealed and the drawer observes the work created not by their control but by their leap of faith. It's liberating to step out of your comfort zone. And then you realize, more powerful than your control over the pencil is the guidance of the eye... The haptic makes you feel the object being drawn rather than see it. The haptic takes your drawing to the next level and shows you how truly capable you are as a drawer.

Lulls and Explosions

It’s such a strange feeling to itch for pending adventure and freedom while moving at a snail’s pace through my daily work-related affairs.

It seems as though bits of this year will be in fast-forward while the days, weeks or months leading up to those next bits seem so tedious and laborious.

As I’m just getting into the year, my pre-conceived notions of it seem to narrow down events to lulls and explosions. In reality, it will all zoom by and it will all be crucial.

However, certain elements are definitely taking precedence: school and art related elements are always in the forefront of my mind.

I’m finding it incredibly difficult to remain dedicated to work (a job I’ve been at for almost 3 years now). I always thought of this job as temporary and as a side-gig to my bachelors degree. Now, the time has come to make a decision about my next career move. Stay with my present job until I leave for Vancouver? Or risk it and get something new (more stimulating, invigorating, motivating, more career oriented) for only 6-7 months before moving across the country? A lull or an explosion?

Is my apprehension about leaving my job caused by rational thinking (it makes sense to stay here since I’ll be leaving shortly) or fear of something new (putting myself and my design skills out there for the world to see and judge)? I’m hoping the latter will be proven false. I never fancied myself a pussy; but then again, I never fancied myself a very rational thinker.

Wearing my purple stone for good luck

Wow, is it really 2010?

Did I just turn 24?????
When did I become an adult? This blog was started in anticipation of my 24th year, the year of enlightenment (not my first encounter with enlightenment and not my last). This year has a lot to live up to. For some reason, I’ve been drawn to 24 and looking forward to it for a long time. We will see what it brings… It’s already started off with a bang.
Was I selected to be a part of a marketing competition?
RECOGNITION!
3 Months of intensity ahead?
Check.
Italy in…103 days???
I haven’t even wrapped my mind around it but whenever I allow myself to wander towards thoughts of my glorious adventure ahead, the ignition gets lit and my brain starts to rumble and I race through the thoughts before getting pulled back to reality – just before the having my mindblown! It is mindblowing!! Don’t want to completely loose my sanity due to excitement. I need my feet on the ground. After all, there are too many things that require my immediate attention!
Graduation in 5 months?
I can’t even begin to explain the emotions this brings up. It’s time to be done, I want to finally give birth to this degree! But I sense the postpartum looming.

And. And. And. And……. So many things happening.
This will be the quickest year of my life and one of movement. My Chinese year and therefore, my lucky year. It’s time to move and take advantage of my pending freedom from JMSB. I’ll allow myself to jump to the thought for the purpose of this blog, but I do this seldom (as mentioned – too much to focus on right now) so I have to soak it in when I do daydream about it, ok, here it goes,…. VANCOUVER IN A YEAR (with the only person that I’ve ever wanted to share this type of adventure with)

Wow and wow.

Obviously my mind is all over the place and my days are flying by.
I’ve officially jumped in.
This is not a time to sit back, be discreet or blend in. This is my YEAR!